Softspoken

Chapter 7

THEO's POV:

We sleep in separate beds that night. According to Colin's rules I'm not allowed to sleep in the same bed as her. But it still kills me. It is just another indication of our severed bond.

The next morning I awake early, eyes red with restless slumber. My socks glide across the polished wooden floors on the pathway to her room. I open the door silently, peering in to find her small body wound tight in a ball in the center of the massive bed.

She is crying.

If this had happened two months prior, I would have run to her, scooped her in my arms and held her till her tears stopped and her face returned to the soft color it was always, her cheeks slightly flushed. This time I am frozen. I can not comfort her. I do not know how. I do not know this new Haley and she does not know me.

I stand silently in the doorway for what feels like an eternity. She has yet to notice my presence but I am okay with that. Instead I listen to her muted sobs as she presses her face into the silk bed spread. Finally after my heart is too broken to listen to one more cracked breath, I make a mad dash out of the room and down the grand staircase of my house. I hear a gasp and a broken voice choke out "Theo!" but I ignore it.

Instead I fly through the front door, running like a mad man down the block. I sprint faster than I ever have before. Everything around me blurs as the tears I attempt to hold back sting my eyes. My father always told me men don't cry. Crying is a sign of weakness. I refuse to be weak. But at this moment I feel utterly defeated.

I keep going. The air stings my lungs, my breath comes out short and staggered. The grey T shirt I wear dots with sweat. A tear rolls down my face.

God damnit!

Why did this have to happen to us? To me? To her? Things were finally perfect. Things were finally working out. The universe had been in our favor for once, just once. Until it wasn't. And now everything is complete shit. It is worse than shit. It is worse than anything I could have imagined. Even when Haley and I broke up and we were not speaking, it was better than this. At least then she remembered who I was. At least then she remembered who she was.

I sprint till I cannot breathe. I collapse on the side of the road in a soaking heap. At least now I am too exhausted to cry.

My road is about two miles long with very few houses along the way. The properties are so huge, only about fifteen fit on the road. Mine might be the largest but it is at the far end, away from the others. Somehow without realizing, I have managed to sprint two miles without breaking. Now I feel the weight on my lungs as the slight chill in the air tickles as I breathe.

I have to start from the beginning. I tell myself again. I have to start from the beginning.

An idea strikes in my mind and I find myself on my feet once more. This may be a leap of faith but I must do it. I have to try.

***

Around noon I make my way up to Haley's room. I knock before entering this time.

"Come in," says a weak voice.

When I open the door, Haley is sitting on the side of her bed, her hair in knots, her face red and puffy, I look away from her.

"Get dressed. We're going out."

I motion to close the door when her voice stops me. "Theo..." I know she wants to discuss this morning. I wish to avoid it. "Theo I know you saw me this morning and I-"

"Haley get dressed."

I close the door faster than she can respond. The last thing I wish to do is be bitter but there are things I can not help. Talking to her kills me. This afternoon is going to be hell.

Haley comes down the stairs in shorts and a tank top. The only shoes I have lying out are her tan flip flops, the ones she wore the night I met her.

"Where are we going?" she asks gloomily.

"Don't worry about that. Just be ready for a long ride."

Haley and I drive in silence. She stares out the window. Now, all I have to do is erase all previous memories of us. I have to get rid of the preconceived notion that everything will magically come back. If she is starting fresh, so will I.

Hours pass, Haley sleeps soundly in the passenger seat. Her nap lasts longer than normal. It worries me quite a bit how much she has been sleeping recently. It's probably the side effects of the medication she's on.

Four hours into her nap she wakes. Just in time.

"We're here," I tell her.

She stares out of the side window in confusion. "Where's here?" she asks, staring out into the ruins.

"This is where I met you."

"What was this place?"

"A gas station. But a few months ago there was a gas explosion. The place never recovered. Get out of the car, cmon," I say, exiting the vehicle.

Haley follows slowly, still sleepy. I walk to her side of the car, leaning against the shiny black paint.

"I met you... at a gas station?" Her words sound tinged in disgust.

"Yes but it's not where we become friends."

"That makes no sense," she responds in a monotone.

"It will Haley."

There is silence as we stare at the wreckage. I know this will not bring anything back. There is nothing here that can be remembered. This was a lost cause. A complete failure.

"What did we talk about?" she asks me softly taking in the charred stations, and black dusted ground.

"You were staring at me, at least I assumed you were. I felt your eyes on my back so I asked if I could help you with anything. Sometimes I can be a little snippy. But that mainly is because when you're even remotely famous, people stare. Then I turned around and saw you. You were, and still are, the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on."

Haley's face flushes a deep pink, her eyes flutter downward.

"I helped you pump your gas and then I paid for it. You didn't even say thank you," I chuckle at the thought. "Then I sat in my car contemplating to get back out and talk to you, have an actual conversation, maybe even learn your name but by the time I got up the courage, you were gone."

I remember the night clearly. She was beautiful. But it wasn't the made up beauty you find in movies or on set. It was the natural beauty of a young woman who had spent all day driving and was dying of exhaustion. Even in the midst of her not-so-finest-hour she was stunning.

"But that wasn't the last time I saw you. Or else..." Haley tried to put together the dots in her head. She struggled.

"No it wasn't. Fate was on our side Haley. But I'll explain the next part when we get there."

I opened the door for Haley, ushering her inside. Once I closed it I took a deep breath. Even the gas station wasn't there anymore.

It wasn't a good omen.

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