The next day, Jeb woke up to the shrill sound of his alarm clock playing I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie. He got up, turned it off, and started getting dressed. He wore a Motionless in White t-shirt along with skinny jeans, light-up Spiderman skechers, and thick black raccoon eyeliner. Being an emo means a lot of upkeep, for those of you that don't know.
He darted down the stairs, grabbed a Scooby Doo fruit roll up to eat on the bus, and was out the door.
He always sat in the middle of the bus so the cool kids in the back were too far away to pour chocolate milk on his head. Then, who should sit next to him but Donald.
"Hey," Donald said seductively. Jeb wasn't going to beat around the Bush. He needed answers.
"I heard you got Ted Cruz pregnant last year."
Donald sighed and rubbed his forehead. "That was a long time ago, Jeb, I only care about you now."
"But you're a father! Your daughter will always be more important than me!"
Donald took Jeb's hand in both of his. "Listen, I know we're taking this pretty fast, but I don't give a steaming shit about my daughter. Shrek Pewdiepie could get dismembered in a dumpster and I wouldn't give a flying fuck. I..." He lowered his voice. "I love you, Jeb."
Jeb smiled. He knew Donald was special.
Later, in his science class which Donald sadly was not in, their teacher announced they would be doing group projects. Jeb's heart sank. He didn't have any friends in the class. His teacher partnered him up with Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton.
"Hey, Jeb," Bernie whispered in his ear. Jeb noticed that all of Bernie's notebooks were covered in drawings of his Fursona, which was a pink fox, and his My Little Pony OC; a red pony with a cutie mark shaped suspiciously like the symbol of communism. Bernie whispered, "Wanna yiff?"
"No!" Jeb snapped.
"Calm down, Bernie," Hillary said, and tossed him a steak 'n' chicken treat, scratching him behind the ears. "Hey, Jeb, I'm Hillary. I am a real human and definitely not a Lizard Man from Galaxy AR-Beta 138, sector 59." When he shook her hand, he noticed it felt oddly cold. "One sec," Hillary said, and adjusted the plasticky skin on her face so it was more even. He could see a glimpse of scaly lizard skin beneath.
They started working on the project, but for some reason Hillary couldn't come into direct contact with anything previously touched by a human or steam would start coming off her body.
After school, Jeb started walking back to his house. It was an eight-mile walk but his dad couldn't pick him up because he was in court for creating propaganda... something about his neighbor Barack Obama being a reptilian in charge of engineering the Dank Memeitis™ bacteria.
Suddenly, a white van pulled up next to him. The window rolled down to reveal a man in dark sunglasses.
"Hey, kid," the man rasped. "I have some memes in the back of my van if you want them."
"HOLY FUCK!!" Jeb shouted, and hopped into the back of the van. Suddenly, a chloroform rag was being clamped over his nose and mouth. Jeb struggled against his captor, but it was no use. He slumped to the floor unconscious. The last thing he heard was somebody whisper, "That'll teach him to come into my swamp. Brofist."
YOU ARE READING
Jeb Bush x Donald Trump highschool au
FanfictionJeb Bush is having a tough time ever since his mom died of Dank Memeitis™. His dad wants him to play football like his big brother George, but he wants to go to art school. Then, his angel comes in the form of Donald J. Trump.
