Gods And Monsters

Chapter Forty-seven:

With an exasperated sigh, Hel flung the TV remote onto the beige settee. There was nothing decent on the telly to entertain her. She slouched in her seat and closed her eyes.

Without any distractions, her mind began to wander. Thoughts of Spike tormented her every moment, waking or otherwise. Even her dreams were no longer exempt from his influence. Sympathy. Sentiment. Lust. Ailments of the human condition neither desirable nor practical in her eyes.

The room felt unusually stifling. Overheated, she exchanged her black V-neck jumper for a white T-shirt with a snap of her fingers. She leapt to her feet, heading in the direction of Spike's room. Hel swung the door wide open, entering without so much as a knock.

"Spike, have you seen my—" She came to an abrupt halt, eyes widening and voice trailing off. "... Book." Her sentence concluded in a whisper.

Spike was stark naked. From the tips of his toes to the top of his head, there wasn't a single stitch of clothing on him. Her eyes trailed south of their own volition, from his strong chest to his lean abdominal muscles.

A smug smile rose to his lips. "So, is there a reason you're standing there or did you just come here for the view?"

Thankfully, she came to her senses and averted her gaze, before succumbing to the temptation to glance below his narrow waist. Her cheeks flushed, she spun around to face the door. "I suppose this makes us even."

"I think we should both get in the habit of knocking from now on."

Clearing her throat, Hel shoved her hands into the front pockets of her acid-wash jeans. "I was wondering if you had seen my book, the one I was reading last night."

"What's the title?"

"Pride And Prejudice."

"Haven't seen it, sorry."

A wave of heat washed over her skin as she caught a glimpse of him in her peripheral vision. "Aren't you going to put any clothing on?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Why wouldn't I want you to?" She asked quietly.

"You tell me."

She turned around, confronting him. Her eyes had difficulty focusing on his face. "I'm not in the mood for games."

"I'm not playing." Snatching up a pair of black leather trousers from the bed, he yanked them on and cinched the waistband at his hips with a black leather belt. He slipped his arms into the sleeves of a black shirt, fastening the buttons. He picked up his signature pair of Doc Martins.

"Oh really?"

Spike advanced upon her with slow, deliberate steps, taking his sweet time. "I can prove it."

The gap between them was reduced to a sliver, forcing Hel back against the wall. She swallowed nervously. "How?"

"You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse." Tilting his head ever-so slightly, he outstretched his hand and trailed his fingertips along her cheek. "You want to see what it's like, to surrender control." Leaning in close, he positioned his head beside her own. His breath tickled her ear. "One day, you won't be able to resist." He murmured in her ear.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, drowning out all other sounds. She genuinely feared he could hear it and sincerely hoped he didn't.

Spike withdrew with a devilish smirk, chuckling softly as he twisted the doorknob and opened the door. "Goodnight, luv."

She stood there for a solid minute after he was gone, processing the events that had occurred. His provocative words remained on a permanent loop in her head for the next two hours, as Hel sat on the couch. She couldn't help but analyse every last possible meaning behind them.

The television was on, the volume turned up relatively high, but she barely heard it. Her thoughts were elsewhere, her mind otherwise engaged.

Seated at the dining table, Xander was distracted by the noise and struggled to concentrate on the architectural plans laid out on the table before him. He sighed, aiming a look of irritation in her direction. "Don't you have to be annoying somewhere else?" He remarked bluntly.

"No." She replied curtly.

"You can't just sit there all night."

Hel closed her eyes, pausing to inhale and exhale deeply. "I've done it before. Never underestimate my ability to idle."

Huffing in annoyance, he gave up and returned to his work.

Slouching against the cushions, she plucked up the apple she had placed on the side table earlier that evening. Absentmindedly, she began flicking it up into the air above her, reclaiming it each time she did so.

Raising his head as a thought occurred to him, Xander hesitated to gather his wording before he spoke. "Why are you helping him, anyway?"

Taken aback from his question, she caught the apple and grasped it firmly. After a moment's pause to formulate her answer, Hel said cryptically: "I feel for him."

"Feel what, exactly?"

She turned her head and pinned him under her withering gaze, parting her lips to give him a piece of her mind.

He elaborated hastily, before her tongue could deal a thorough lashing. "No, no— don't misunderstand me. I'm just trying to understand."

Severing eye contact, she stared vacantly at the apple in her hand. "I see a man battling the darkness inside him to be good."

"He's not a man." He replied decisively. "He's a monster."

Her eyes met his, darkening. She raised her chin slightly, an unspoken warning simmering beneath the surface of her lukewarm expression. "Morality is subjective. Where was your honour when you betrayed Anya?" Hel countered icily.

Her words infuriated him, but rather than allowing himself to be angered further, he simply shook his head and stifled the urge to continue arguing with her. Xander resumed his scrutiny of the blueprints before him without another word on the matter. He ignored her for the remainder of the night, seething in silence.