Beijing Story (Lan Yu)

Chapter 31

    AUTUMN IN Beijing was no longer my favorite season. It was so drab and lifeless, with the ice cold wind sweeping away everything.

    I once again stepped into the small apartment at 'Tsing Huo'. It was so comfortable but at the same time so horrifying. The glass left behind that fateful day was still on the table, with the unfinished water still inside. I dared not touch that glass...

    I went into the bedroom. All his things were still there, not one item missing. But why was their owning not returning? The blankets on the bed were folded. I had told him at the time not to fold them, that we were pressed for time, but he said he just couldn't stand my messy way... I picked up the clothes he had gotten out of. His body warmth was no longer on them. I let myself drop down on the bed, sitting there and buried my head in the clothes. I cried. Finally opening up and really I cried... The heart-wrenching weep of a man echoed through the house...

    I could not stay at 'Tsing Huo', and did not want to go home even more.

    So I just stayed at the office. During the following week, I was like a walking corpse. My weight plummeted. Along came the hallucinations, always feeling that Lanyu was calling for me. Every minute, I would expect Lanyu to materialize in front of me. I constantly turned around to see if there was any miracle happening. I was at the brink of a nervous breakdown.

    That day, I was ordered home by my mother. I stepped into the house, acknowledged her and hurried into my room. I didn't want her to see me the way I was. I lay on the bed half-awake. After I didn't know how long,, I heard the door being pushed open and my mother came in. She sat on the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I felt my mother's hands on my arms, just like she had done when I was small.

    Rubbing up and down.

    "Little Tung! I know you are feeling terrible. But you can't raise the dead." I heard the old woman weeping. My tears streamed out once again, but I made no sound.

    "I know all about you. Liu Qsing has told me everything. If that boy didn't die, I would not object you being together." She said.

    More tears came out from my eyes. "You are saying this too late." I said

    silently in my heart...

.................................

    TWO WEEKS later, I called Lanyu's father on the phone as suggested by Liu Qsing. When I told him the bad news, I heard an old man's weeping at the other side...

    A few days later, Lanyu's father called me.

    "Has he left anything?" The tired old voice asked.

    "No. And because it was an accident, happening so suddenly, he has left no words."

    "Er...anything left?" He asked.

    "Some clothes, books, you want any of them, I'll send them over." I thought he wanted some of Lanyu's things to memorize him.

    "Oh..." he seemed to want to say something.

    Then it dawned on me that he could be asking about money. I thought Lanyu must have had an estate, three hundred and eighty thousand American dollars. But I had not found any document concerning this sum of money, except a savings passbook containing a few thousand dollars.

    I asked Liu Qsing offhand, "You know about Lanyu selling the 'Scandinavia' house?" I asked.

    "I know..." He sounded heavy.

    "His good-for-nothing dad is thinking about the money he has left in a time like this! I don't know where he had put it."

    Liu Qsing looked at me in astonishment, "He hadn't told you?"

    "Told me what?"

    "The money was spent when you were in prison!"

    "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked in astonishment.

    "Lanyu wouldn't let me. He said he would tell you, to surprise you."

    "..."

    "When you first went in, we were so desperate. Lanyu asked me everyday if there was news of you. We all thought you had been shot. Then our mom managed to find 'Li'. But he fucking named the price at ten million!"

    "But didn't you say one million?"

    "Lanyu said that. I never said one million."

    He said again, "But where could we get the money? I had over three hundred thousand. The old woman some six hundred thousand. I couldn't borrow from fucking nobody. Even Ai-tung and Tsing-tung (my two younger sisters) said they had no money. Lin Tsung-ping had said she would help.

    But when I really tried to borrow from her, she stalled me by saying she couldn't come up with the cash... Couldn't blame them. Who didn't know that the money would be like water poured down the drain? Lanyu was very desperate but there was nothing he could do. He said he had never before in his life thought money was that important. Then he remembered the 'Scandinavia' villa. It was under his name and could be sold. I sold it in just one week. Three hundred and eighty thousand American, furnishing and the car included. But we couldn't come up with anything else...

    "To be honest, I used to look down on him very much. But I admired him very much on this thing. He was a friend, and compassionate enough! Just that kind of relationship and he did great. Even if this thing happened to me, my wife may not be so concerned. Fuck!"

    "Then why did he keep it from me?' My eyes were brimming with tears as I  asked perplexed.

    "He said he wanted to play a joke on you. I thought he had told you a long time ago."

    "My mother knew?"

    "Of course! That day we went home with you and Lanyu was waiting outside, the old woman had gone to the window and looked at him for a long, long time."