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21.A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

22.If at first you don't succeed . . . so much for skydiving.

23.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

24.If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.

25.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

26.How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

27.My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

28.God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.

29. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."

30.Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 29, 2016 ⏰

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