Ryan POV
The light fall wind brushed against my arms, causing goose flesh to climb across my bare arms. I held a note against a grand gravestone, sobbing. The wind picked up and leaves clung to the trees, dangerously close to being swept off with the wind. That's how I felt; barely hanging on.
A single crow cawed on a nearby tree. I looked at the name on the gravestone for about the tenth time with another broken sob. Brendon Urie: loved son, husband, and friend to many.
Everything had happened so fast. I had received the letter about three days ago, and was confused by the way he was writing, as if he was saying goodbye. And now I know he was.
The crow cawed one last time before flying away, out into the darkening sky. The funeral was yesterday, but I couldn't work up the nerve to go. That would make it real.
For years I had wanted to die, to fall into that hole with him and never come out. But every time I tried to I thought of the note he had written. He had wanted me to move on, and even though I never truly have, I've tried to carry out his will as best as I can by staying alive.
I recently bought a house just south of the graveyard where his body lays. I know it's probably not a good idea to be so close to the thing that's been destroying me, but being there helps me let go.
I suppose I'm getting along alright, but it is quite lonely living in such a big house with nothing but memories.
