A Crime Of Passion

Chapter 6: Naked

“I suck!” I groaned. Jane jumped from her seat then she figured out why I was giving myself such a hard time, I couldn't write a single word. She did not comment but she couldn't ignore how discouraged I was, she looked like she was thinking deeply. For 3 days, I had been sleeping, drinking and writing in my place, all except eating. I did not bother get out of bed at all, I wanted to write anything, anything that could give me a reason to hold on to writing. I only saw Jane when she came to sleep or asked if I wanted food or coffee as usual I picked coffee. It was obvious to her I was losing it, starting an argument

   “Ivy, you barely spend time with me..” She was still calm

   “Sweetie” I reassured her, moving my laptop away from the distance between us holding her face in my hands. “I'm well aware of that and I don't like it, either but you have no idea how it's annoying me. I haven't written a single word since I went to college, you also know how much pressure med school is putting on me, I want to get rid of that by writing. I'm losing it!” I explained, she understood but still annoyed “why don't you stop trying to write and go live a little? Go out for a run or something”

   “If I'm not gonna write, I'd rather stay home with you”

“Take me out on a date” she implied

“Agreed”

We playfully searched through the closet for something fancy to wear for a date then came a tough decision; home or somewhere real fancy? After 2 hours of considering the options we decided to stay home eat, mess around and talk. However, she hadn't recovered from my last victory in Burn out she wanted another round for revenge. I know she wouldn't take it if she lost again so again, sucking on my cancer stick, I let her win 3 rounds in a row until she figured it out.

   “I'm gonna kill you” she said, I laughed

   “Come on, you know you can't live without me” I poked her arm.

After our game, I found the nearest and favorite place of mine to throw my exhausted body on. The couch seemed to lovingly take me and my best friend with no problems at all. I didn't know why I felt so tired, yet, we just laid there, cuddling and no words were said. For some reason, Jane always had a warmer body than mine, making her the first person to go to whenever you need comfort. It was unbelievable, extraordinary. Breaking the silence she came up with the most brilliant idea ever “why don't we travel somewhere? You and me? I could really use the break and you might start writing”

No arguing I agreed. It's exactly what we both needed. However, where?

 “That. I don't know”

 “Me neither”

 “Anywhere with you is fine with me” I smiled at her compliment, flattered. I loved how her eyes sparkled every time she flirted with me, she had a touch of innocence added in.

We packed 4 days later, went for a road trip. We had everything we needed and didn't need. All set and ready to go. She drove and the moment we hit the road the inspiration took me away. I couldn't remember Jane interrupting or even making a sound. I sank 6-foot-deep in concentration no matter what she would say I wouldn't be listening. I decided to write about a group of best friends who also went on a road trip together but, I decided to kill each and everyone of them in a mysterious way. Secrets revealed and promises broken all kinds of thriller, drama and tragedy. It was too much of a strong mix it made me dizzy, after 5 hours of brutal silence, I laid my laptop aside and leaned my head over her shoulder, closed my eyes. Meditating in her scent I mouthed breathlessly “I'm in love with you in every way humans have ever known” I raised my head getting a clear vision of her beautifully green eyes “me more” she said kissing me on the cheek, I placed my head back in it's place, held her hand and kept daydreaming uncontrollably of my little fictional messed up story.

   However, the whole concept of thinking brought me to something; how I bared my soul to Jane completely. I recalled not having done that before with anyone no matter how close we were, Jane, on the other hand, had me the moment we met. Technically, the fifth time we met (for we hated each other's guts for unexplained reasons). When I come to re-examine the facts, I can't think of any different way I would have wanted things to go. I was and still am glad I could rely on her that much, she made me feel guarded. That I wasn't the reckless, selfish, miserable self at all. I had her. I was whole.