Gabriel

It's An "Eh" Day

I stubbled along the crowded side walks of the city. People were pushing past me, always needing to be somewhere five minutes ago or talking to an angry boss over an expensive phone. Or begging their small children to quiet down, or, sometimes they were blending in, like me, or well as much as I could blend in.

All my life I had wanted to be different. When I was little, I was happy, cheerful, unique. Every day I wore extravagant costumes to school. I got made fun of. Told I shouldn't be "the strange kid", but I didn't listen. Looking back I realize I probably should have.

I stood up as if to make my five-foot-nothing form bigger, make myself more intimidating. I strived to be that one word. Not to let people see the struggle inside, only blooming, unique, confidence. Black. That was all I wore. Black clothes, black boots, black eyeliner, died black hair. All in startling contrast to my pale skin and ice blue eyes.

I moved along with the crowd of people, then veered off into a subway exit. My boots clacked as I made my way down the concrete steps. People stared at me, but I was used to it. You would think that in a place as big and as crowded as New York City there would not be much notice to someone like me, but I seemed to give off a vibe that made others wonder.

I swiped my card through the machine and made my way to the platform. I stood there and gazed to the dark tracks. Truthfully, there wasn't much to see, just dirty trash, an old cigarette butt, normal things people throw away, the occasional rat or two. People started to fill in around me. I pulled my sleeves lower over my wrists, covering the scabs and scars of my pain relief. Nobody needed to worry. It wasn't their problem.

The train pulled up and I found myself once again struggling through a sea of people. Finally pushing through onto the cart. I was shoved over, next to the chairs at the end of each car. I pulled my black bag closer to me. I started to feel claustrophobic, it wasn't usually this crowded on the subway. People were overflowing, the ones inside the car were complaining about how cramped it was and the people who couldn't find a spot on the tram, and had to catch the next one, were grumbling about how they would miss an important meeting or whatnot.

I turned my head, looking for a place to sit down. Every spot was taking up. I was just getting used to standing when I saw and heard two men arguing.

"Look at that young lady there, she shouldn't have to stand like that. Please be kind and offer up your seat." Said the first man. He had dirty blonde hair that fell naturally over his forehead and kind eyes the color of chocolate. From what I could tell, he was tall, over six feet and well built. He also seemed to be mid 20's in age. If I was in one of my better moments I might have though he was cute. The man he was speaking to was on the heavier side, he was middle aged. The man was dressed in a suit a size to small and honestly he smelled like a sewer. The second man looked at me, then at the first man then back to his cell phone.

"Please sir, just this once." The kind man begged the piggy one.

Man #2 looked up again. He grunted and looked past me. I followed his gaze to a blonde woman standing to my left. I guess he thought he had a chance with the blonde and got up.

Just as I made my way to the now empty seat, the train lurched forward, sending me almost into the strangers lap. He laughed and steadied me. He placed me back onto the seat then looked at me, smiling. He had a perfect smile, his teeth white and straight, his gums pink and healthy. The smile was so full of joy I almost smiled back. Almost.

"Hi. I'm Gabriel. Pleasure to meet you." Gabriel said, extending his hand to shake.

"Ari." I said gruffly, "pleasure as well." I did not extend my hand to meet his, but rather have a sharp nod of acknowledgement. Gabriel seem to take this all in stride and continued on the conversation.  

"I like your eyes. Very peculiar color."

"Thank you." I say quietly, then remember why I'm sitting next to the man in the first place. " Also, thanks for getting me a seat. I like your umm...." I scrambled for words, not used to being spoke to and wanting to return another compliment. "Shirt buttons." I glanced at his shirt, hoping the buttons on it held significance, let alone if the shirt had buttons. To my relief it did, but they were nothing special, round and white against crisp, dark blue fabric.

Gabriel looked down on his shirt and laughed again. "I do suppose they are quite interesting," he said in a somewhat sarcastic matter. Not mean, just amused.

His voice calmed me, and my claustrophobia seemed to drift away. I put down my bag as we carried on small talk. Gabriel was good at talking. All too soon, the robotic voice came over the car, announcing  my stop. "This is my stop, bye." I said.

"Goodbye, Ari, hope we meet again." Gabriel said and smiled once more." The smile enforced his words, making me want to smile back even more, still I did not.

I turned away and got off the car. I went up the steps onto the sidewalk. I began walking to my building. The sky was gray and cloudy, indicating rain. As if on cue, the first big, fat droplets of water fell into my nose and forehead. I didn't mind the rain so I just kept walking to the building. I went inside, past the doorman who's name I hadn't bothered to learn and up two flights of stairs to my apartment. Room 208. I turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

I decided today was neither a bad day, like most days, or a rare good day. It was something in between. Something I liked to call an "eh day".