Zerkaa [sidemen]

If We're Alone, We're Alone Together [Josh]

Your main job was to watch the stairs.

"Just make sure no one goes into my room," Simon told you, closing the front door to the Sidemen house quickly after you crossed the threshold. He had a good grip on your shoulder, attempting to usher you up the staircase without any of the guests in the hall seeing you. But, of course, JJ saw you from where he was stood with Vik, Ethan, and Tobi, calling out your name in greeting. You slip out of your brother's hold to wave exaggeratedly at him. When was the last time you'd seen them?

Simon snatches at your arm. "Alright, alright, Y/n, you're not here to socialize," he reminds you, trying to lock his bright blue eyes with yours. "We had a deal, remember? I pay for Mum's Christmas gift, you help me out?"

Once again, you slink out of Simon's grip, not so much bothered by it but rather upset that there was nothing you could do to change the evening's circumstances. Who wanted to hang out on some stairs on New Year's Eve when there was a party going on? Surely you could watch the staircase from the living room.

Except, you and Simon both knew that you couldn't. Last time there was a party in the Sidemen house, Harry had gone out of his way to traverse up two flights up steps with his girlfriend and ended up having sex with her on Simon's bed. Your brother has since burned the sheets. And the mattress.

"Fine," you grumble at last, heading up the stairs. "But don't blame me if I fall asleep. I know this party's lasting all night."

-

It was cute how you'd thought you'd be able to fall asleep.

The music downstairs was blaring. Party guests were cheering on some act unbeknownst to you with drunken enthusiasm, and you could very distinctly make out Harry's drunken 'whey hey!'s and Ethan's booming laugh. Bitterly, you sat on the landing of the staircase, staring down at the front door in boredom. What time was it? Before your phone had died, it had been 25 minutes to midnight. Or, in other words, past your bedtime.

Suddenly, there were footsteps behind you, and Josh was there in a black and white Sidemen sweatshirt, gazing down at you in confusion.

"Y/n?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

You shrugged one shoulder in explanation. "Not really into parties, I guess," you lied, too embarrassed to admit that you'd agreed to keep watch for horny, intoxicated stragglers. Quickly, you added, "Were you up here in your room the whole time?"

Josh shrugged like you had, lowering himself to sit beside you on the step. Subconsciously, you noted that he smelled good. Like peppermint and pine needles and bar soap. "Not really into parties either, I suppose," he supplied. "Decided to just bang out some videos instead."

"I hope you were editing Illuminate, Joshua."

Josh's chuckle sounded a lot like bells chiming to you. Yup. You were definitely delusional with sleep-deprivation. "You're almost as bad as your brother, you know."

"Never compare me to him again."

Cue another melodious laugh. It's funny; some grime track was blaring from speakers just one floor below you, and yet you could hear Josh over everything. It was almost as if the entire world had been muted, just so you could make out Josh's soft chuckle and the sound of his deep breathing. Not that you were complaining. It was calming. Reassuring, even.

Wait, when was the last time you'd seen Josh? It had been around Thanksgiving, and surely you hadn't been feeling so strangely around him then. I mean, it wasn't a badstrange. But it was an odd strange. A new strange. The kind of strange that made you wonder what his beard would feel like pressed against your face when you kissed him. Except–no–you wouldn't kiss your brother's best mate. Why had you even thought that?

Josh's leg, much longer than yours, brushed against your knee when he shifted his weight on the step. Your skin burned where his had made contact.

Okay. So you had a crush. Whatever.

Your face flaming with humiliation that Josh probably didn't understand, you tried desperately to turn on your uncharged phone, seeking some distraction to keep you from embarrassing yourself. Josh must've noticed you fumbling with your phone, because he asked, "Someone you've got to talk to?"

You snorted. "It's not like I have a boyfriend."

"No?" Josh wondered. You glance up at him quickly. So much for not embarrassing yourself.

"Well, I mean, is it really so wrong being alone on New Years? Like, this is all just a bunch of mindless hype. You don't... you don't have to kiss someone into the new year. It's perfectly okay to be alone!" you offered, laughing forcibly.

Josh pursed his lips, nodding once. "I agree with that. But you're not alone."

You froze abruptly. "Well- no. Not exactly."

"Like, I'm here. So if we're alone, we're alone together."

"Right, but-"

"And if this is all mindless hype, then it shouldn't matter in the morning."

"No-"

"So, if for some reason you did want to kiss someone into the new year, then I don't think I'd protest."

Something flipped in your stomach. You would've thought that it was your heart, plummeting full force into your gut and bursting like fireworks, but it was pounding too forcefully against your chest to make you believe that it had gone anywhere it shouldn't have.

But Josh. Josh had gone somewhere he shouldn't have. You couldn't kiss him; he was one of your brother's closest friends. Wasn't that weird? Wouldn't he disapprove?

But what did it matter? It was just a kiss, and this was Josh. Josh, who you'd known for a couple of years now to be completely harmless and one of the most reliable people you'd ever met. He was nice and he smelled like Christmas and he was here, offering himself to you, if you wanted him.

And you most certainly did.

Glancing skeptically into his brown eyes, you opened your mouth to say something–anything–but your thoughts were interrupted by a holler downstairs. The music cut off. And then suddenly, everyone was counting down, loudly and drunkenly, from ten.

"Nine, eight, seven..." Josh chorused, smirking teasingly at you.

You had six seconds to get your shit together. Were you going to go for it?

"Six, five..."

Four... You still weren't sure. Time was passing too quickly. You were overwhelmed and people were shouting and you hadn't liked Josh until that night (or maybe way before then, you weren't sure) but nothing mattered because it was New Years! Right?

And then Josh decided for you, leaning toward you as he whispered, "Three, two..."

"One" was the last thing you breathed before your lips were on his.