To Real to be Fake

Zoey

I held the pen in my hand, trying to write. Loosing my brother, loosing my best friend. For the past week I've cried myself to sleep. Knowing that he would never come back. All the things I ever said to him, and all the things I didn't, were a waste.

Zach was dead. And I couldn't do anything about it.

I look down at the paper on my desk. My fingers wrapped around my pen.

Write the words. It's not that hard.

The final words. Write them. 3 Stupid words Zoey. Just write them.

I take a deep breathe and slowly start to write.

I let out a sigh and throw my pen down on my desk. I run my hands through my hair and try not to cry.

Alex. I need to call Alex.

Every since the crash, me and Alex haven't spoken. We don't need to. We sit in silence, cope with the pain by being together. We don't need to talk to communicate.

But I need to talk to someone. I can't do this. I pull out my phone and dial Alex's number.

It starts ringing. With each ring I get more and more anxious.

"Hello?" Alex croaks. I smile just hearing her voice.

"Hey Alex." I say. Letting all of my anxiety flush out, back to normal.

"It's nice to talk to you." She says. Her voice is distant, she barely spoke.

"You too Alex. I miss you." I say. I hold back my tears. I hear muffled crying on the other line.

"Hey Alex, it's okay." I start. More crying.

"I miss him Zoey. I really do. It's all my fault too. If I didn't say-" I cut her off.

"No. Alex this is not your fault. Don't think that." More muffled tears.

"Hey Zoey." My mom calls out from the other room. "Dinner is ready." I hear her walk away and my attention is back to Alex.

"Hey Alex? I have to go eat dinner, you calm down and I will call you later okay?" I ask.

"O-okay." She mumbles. I hang up the phone and walk downstairs.

I walk into the dining room and look at what's for dinner. Salad, garlic bread, and spaghetti.

A wave of confusion washed over me. The spaghetti had sauce on it. Zachary was allergic to tomato sauce. Why would mom make- then it hit me.

"No." I practically shout. "I'm not eating that." I point at my place mat.

"Sweetie sit down and eat your food." She says. Her voice was calming and unsettling. Different than usual.

"No way am I eating that Mom. No way." I turn on my heel and start to walk back upstairs.

I sit back down at my desk and grab my pen. I write the 3 words and let out a deep breath. I sit back in my chair and re read what I wrote.

Okay.

"I'm sorry Alex." I say as I fold the paper in half and place it on my desk.