Stargate Destiny

Sam

Major Carter felt empty, and not only because she granted freedom to her breakfast a few hours before.

Several thoughts were going through her mind but it was like she was unable to focus on a particular one, to grasp their concept and to begin to solve what was bothering her. She, who never backed down for the complexity of a trail of thought or of a theory seemed unable to think on a linear manner. Colonel O'neill would have probably found the idea disturbing... or at least thought that she was human after all. Imagining her superior's reaction about her personal ravings made her smile for an instant but that positive energy disappeared real fast...

No! She was done crying! If she was sure of one thing, it was this one.

She did not blame Colonel O'neill. Whereas she would have rather another reaction from him, there was nothing he could have said or done  to change the situation, was it ? Many would think she had every rights to be angry ; and she was! Just not against him, more against herself, and the entire world... and maybe also the army.

It was an irrational anger, she knew it. Nevertheless, she felt abandoned by the institution which had been for so long her only kind of family ; a family she was now forced to leave. Of course, Janet didn't understand when she told her : she explained in details how a single mother could find solutions to keep on working at the SGC. That's how the doctor convinced her to only take a leave of absence for now.
But her friend didn't know everything and Sam couldn't bear the idea to keep going as if the child she was expecting was anyone's ; continuing being a part of SG1 would be unbearable for her in those circumstances.

However, not seeing the team everyday, nor seeing HIM everyday, was almost as disturbing. It was like she was loosing her family, and somehow it really was.
She also had her father to considerate : she probably wouldn't see him as often and he would stop at nothing in his search for the identity of the child's father...

The only person she had outside of the Stargate program was her brother. The only one she would be able to rely on from now on. The one she couldn't face : she couldn't find the nerve to explain how her pregnancy was to end her carrier and, most of all, how the father's identity was to be kept a secret. He would rail against the army and curse anyone with a connection to the Air Force. She just couldn't deal with that talk for now.

She didn't think before coming over here or before breaking in the fishing shed she refused to come to several times. At 10°F, it was probably a subconscious way to close the circle : after all it was at bottom of a polar crack that it all began, at least for her, it was under the ground of an alien planet fighting an ice age that everything went south ; then what more normal than to honor an old invitation to a log-house under the snow to add a final point to the story before moving on?

----

She woke up to  a loud noise. At first, she thought the fire in front of her cracked but she realized a second later that someone was ferociously knocking on the door. Surprised, she went to open up :

- Colonel? she asked shocked
- Carter? he answered
- Why are you knocking at the door of your own cabin? she asked
- Apparently someone rent it without notifying me, he ironized.

Not knowing what else to do, she moved form the door to let him come in. A few seconds later they were sat side by side on the couch, looking the fire burning without saying anything.

- Colonel, why are you here? she asked
- Someone had to make sure you didn't go crazy, here all alone, miles away from any computer, he answered after hesitating for a second.

She gave him a light smile. God she would miss that way of taking any situation with apparent nonchalance.

- Colonel, don't you worry, she spoke, no one will ever know what happened, I promise you.

As he was keeping silent she went on :

- My old physics professor has been working me for month so that I would join him in the CERN lab in Switzerland. I will go as soon as my situation with the Air Force is dealt with.
- You have everything planned already, he said bitterly
- It's the best way to avoid any questions, she justified
- I understand that you don't want me interfering with my priors, he said between his teeth.

Samantha Carter was stunned, she didn't dare to understand. How could she have been so stupid! If the Air Force was her whole life, her family, it wasn't always that way for Colonel Onei'll! She selfishly let herself being blinded by her own situation without for one second considering his point of view!

- Colonel, she said nicely, do you remember Merine, Cassandra and all the children you helped during missions? They all love you!
- You know what I mean, he simply answered
- I also know that there is nothing worst for a child than to be separated form one of its parents. And the contrary is also right.

A/N : here it is for Carter. What do you think?
the final part will be up soon