Tongue Tied *UNDERGOING EDITING*

21. Mess It Up

"What is the best movie you've ever seen?" he asks me. I think for a minute before replying with a horror movie I watched a few months ago. "It was so well put together and the music fit the scenes perfecty." I tell him. I write down the name for him and he tells me he'll have to watch it some time. I wish he'd say that he wants to watch it with me, but the words never leave his mouth.

A different waitress comes over and asks us for our drink orders. "I'll take a coke." Luke says and then looks to me. "I'll have a coke too." I say. "OK, I'll be back as soon as I can with your drinks." she says, and walks off.

"Can I keep asking you questions?" Luke asks, taking a sip of his coke. "Um, yeah sure." I say, glad that he wants to know more things about me. I want to know more things about him too.

We continue asking each other questions and then eat our dinner. "These meatballs are amazing." I say. "Told you." he says. I laugh and swallow. The food really is amazing. And, not that I would admit it to him, but I'm having a really good time. "OK, so tell me one embarrassing thing you did when you were little." he says, stabbing another mini meatball with his fork.

"Um, lets see, theres a lot of them." I say, making him laugh. "Yeah, OK. Well, this one time, when I was younger, my parents took me and my brother out to eat with a few of our family friends. And I ordered orange soda. So, when the waitress brought me the drink, I took a sip just as Cameron was telling some joke which I thought was hilaious, and I laughed and the soda came out of my nose and mouth and all over the waitress and the people we were out with. I was so embarrassed." I say laughing.

"That's great." Luke laughs. "I'm glad you can get a kick out of me spewing soda all over a nice lady who was serving me and people we were out with." I say between laughs. I had to admit, it was pretty embarassing.

Dinner continues, and to my disappointment, it goes by quickly. I had a really great time talking and laughing with Luke. I still can't believe that I went out to dinner with him. I mean, sure it was just a dinner, but it felt like a date. He asked me, he drove, and he paid.

I seriously need to shut up. Like right now.

"How did you like the dinner?" Luke asks me on the way to the car. "It was really good." I say, keeping my head down. "Is everything OK?" he asks.

No, Luke, nothing is okay. I like you and I can't find the guts to tell you because I know you like someone else.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just really full. And tired." I say. He doesn't respond. He only nods his head and opens the car door on my side. I climb in carefully and shut the door as he walks around the other side. I rest my head against the window as he drives away. Thoughts are flowing through my head at lightning speed and I can't focus on anything. My heart is pounding and my mouth has suddenly gone dry. I don't know what to say or do or...

All I can do is sit there and let my thoughts overtake me.

I nearly forget that I'm in a car, never mind the fact that I'm with another person. After what seems like only a few seconds, Luke is in front of my house, the car parked. But he makes no move to unlock the door or open it for me. "I can tell something's wrong, Ariel. I could tell something was wrong from the moment we stepped out of that restaurant. Now, can you please tell me?" he asks, not looking at me. He keeps his eyes on the still road in front of us.

I swallow before looking over at him. He sounds mad or upset. "Did I ruin this?" I ask. "Ruin what?" he asks, his angered tone of voice slipping away and being replaced by a sincere, confused tone. "Dinner. I feel like I ruined it." I say. "You didn't ruin anything, Ariel. Dinner was really fun. I had a really great time." he says. "I just feel like your upset about something. And I don't want you to be upset. Is it about Zoey?" he adds, keeping his eyes on me. Yes, it's about Zoey, but not for the reasons he thinks it is. But I can tell that he meant what he said about dinner being fun.

His statement runs through my mind over and over again: He feels like I'm upset about something. He can sense it. But I don't know if I can tell him or not. My feelings for him are what's bothering me. The fact that I like him but I know he has feelings for someone else is what's bothering me. I just feel like crying, but I can't be weak and stupid.

"I'm not upset about anything. I just felt like I ruined dinner." I say flatly. "How could you have ruined it?" he asks. Could you please stop asking me questions and just unlock the door? Well you know, you could always do it, Ariel, and then just leave. Would that be rude?

"I don't know. By making you think there was something wrong with me. I don't know." I say. "Now can you please unlock the door so I can get out?" I ask, obvious irritation dripping from my voice. All he does is stare at me. I shift in my seat before replying. "Why are you staring at me?" I snap. My breath hitches. What the hell are you doing Ariel? Why are you being like this to him? I want to cry. I want to scream. I just want to be alone, but I don't want to at the same time, and its confusing the living shit out of me.

"I'm sorry." he murmurs quietly. I hear the click of the door unlocking and he looks back up at me. "You can leave now, I'm sorry if I made you mad. I was just concerned." he says. "You don't have anything to be concerned about, Luke. I'm not yours to be worried about. We can get through our project presentation tomorrow and then you never have to talk to me again. It'll be better for the both of us." I say. "I thought we were friends." he says. "Well..." I start, pausing before I continue with my next words that could be potentially hurtful.

"You thought wrong." I say, opening the door and getting out of the car. I slam the door shut and walk inside, holding back my tears. God I'm an idiot. I can't even get through one night with him without messing everything up. But maybe pushing myself away from him will make things easier.