Fairy Tales Gone Wrong

Snow White

Once upon a time there was a young girl with skin as white as snow and hair as black as ebony and lips as red as roses. She was knockout gorgeous. Apparently, her stepmother the evil queen, did not like this, so she sent her huntsman to go kill Snow White and bring back her heart (Let's be real for a second. Why would the queen want her heart? That's messed up.). So, the huntsman took Snow White out for the day in the forest. He waited until Snow White's back was turned....and tried to stab her. But Snow White knew what was going down. She transformed into Ninja White and karate chopped the huntsman. When the evil queen heard about Ninja White, she was not amused. She was going to find Ninja White herself. Meanwhile, Ninja White was walking through the forest when she found 7 dwarves whistling a really annoying tune. It was so annoying that she decided to karate kick each dwarf until they shut their chew holes. She did just so it only took her one kick each and they understood. So Ninja White was on her way. Meanwhile, the evil queen had transformed into an old, repulsive, crippled woman. She found Ninja White and offered her an apple. "Just one bite deary," the evil queen said. "No thanks, old lady. Apple's have natural sugars, and I'm trying to cut down on those," Ninja White said. "Dang it!" The evil queen said. "You know what? I'm going to karate kick you off this cliff for fun. Okay? Okay," Ninja White said. And she did. So, Snow White was not a princess, she was a karate master.