*END OF FLASHBACK*
That’s how we meet, Niall and I that is. That week I hung out with the boys a lot. Before you knew it I was Best Friends with Niall. We texted, called, Skyped, and even wrote sometimes. I loved to write, weather a letter or books or anything I loved writing. And now here I am at three in the morning staring at a blank page in London. Of all the times I have too many things to write I can’t seem to put any words on this paper.
A year after I meet Niall, I had decided to move to London. I wanted to go somewhere I had never been before. It was a huge risk, but I ended up opening my own cupcake shop, which had been a big success so far. I lived five minutes walking distance from Niall’s place. I was a California girl living in a place with no sunshine. I liked it here though. So many people hate the rain and cloudy weather, but I loved it. It was weird, I love the sun but I also love the rain. I remember me and Niall had gone on a walk and got stuck in the rain. We had almost kissed. Almost. He stopped it. I thought he was into me, but I guess I was wrong. I ran home and we were about fifteen minutes walking distance away. But I didn’t stop, I ran and cried. Somehow Niall and I got over it, at least he did, and our friendship continued. I still cry over that. I had fallen for him, and hard too. The worst part is even after that, I was still in love with him. I loved every part of him, even the part that didn’t love me.
I guess I’m just so confused. He sends me mixed feelings. I just want to know how he feels about me. I don’t want to go through this pain. So I started to write, I wrote the story of us, because it’s the only way he would understand.
Dear Niall,
We’ve been friends for a few years now, and I took a huge risk moving here. But I think I need to move back home for a while. I need to just get my head straight and think about some things. I don’t know how long I will be gone, but please don’t call or text or anything because that would only distract me.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you. And you don’t seem to love me back. But I don’t know what you think because you send me mixed messages. You flirt but then you say we’re just friends. You and Demi seem to be getting closer, and it’s only a matter of time before you guys start dating. I just want to know how you feel but you won’t tell me. By the time you read this I would have left. I suppose you should know when I’m leaving. I am leaving May 13th, the day we meet three years ago. I’m leaving in the morning.
I’m sorry Niall, but there’s not much I can say. I can’t describe how I feel. And now that you’re with someone else, I feel happy, jealous, confused, lonely, all at the same time. I am happy that you’re happy with Demi, but it hurts me whenever you’re with her. Even though you aren’t dating yet, I see the way you look at her. You use to look at me like that when we first meet. I don’t know what happened. It’s like your eyes were so kind to me, and then I saw your eyes change. Like you were in love with me, but then you weren’t. It hurts to even hear you or see you.
I’m sorry.
Love
~Summer
I put the letter in an envelope, and went to sleep for the next few hours. I woke later at seven, and grabbed my suitcases and left to Niall’s house.
I rang the doorbell and slid the letter under his door. I ran off to my car looking once more at his house. Wishing I could say goodbye, but I can’t. I would hurt too much. I backed out of the drive way and looked at his door. Just as I drove off, I looked in my rearview mirror, and saw Niall had opened the door. And his eyes meant mine but I left anyways.
