Uncertain | Jai Courtney | On Hiatus

2 | I said "Fuck You."

Elena

Taking control of your life and doing a complete 360 to make it a better one was proving to be very hard.

Instead of waking up in the usual sweet time I did (which was 9 o'clock onwards), I woke up at six am. I had started with cleaning my room, wiping away dust and cobwebs, arranging all the things that needed to be arranged and taking out all of the shit I didn't need. It took me five hours to finish.

Now that it was roughly eleven in the morning, I wanted to clean all the other aspects of my house. I cleaned the floor in the living room, dumped all the dirty laundry on the washing machine and waited for it to be done. Also, I swept and mopped like the president was visiting my house. 

Lastly, I cleaned the kitchen. It didn't need much attention, actually. The kitchen was barren and void of anything, so it went by pretty quickly. Upon seeing the empty cupboards and shelves, I had promised myself that I would work on filling them up with food starting today.

I collapsed on my tattered couch and gulped down some water.

Phase One, complete. On to Phase Two we go. Yay.

~

Trying to find a job wasn't easy. My head was close to exploding when I opened the fifth newspaper I had in my hands.

"Right. I can do this. I'm an adult. I can face any problem thrown in my face." I muttered to myself as I scanned the job applications. I highlighted ones that appealed to me, including waitressing for a Filipino restaurant and working as a helper in a Photography business.

The two options seemed legit.

Five hours later, I dropped my eighth newspaper and rubbed my eyes. I was determined to turn my life around, to put it back on track, but what if it wouldn't work? What if I was just wasting my time looking over all these newspapers when nobody would want to give a twenty-three year old drop out a job?

I pursed my lips as doubt and uncertainty spun around my head. My eyes travelled to my exhuasted hands, to my tired feet, and to the clean area around me. I remembered Jake's call, and my mood suddenly brightened up.

All the hardwork I did wasn't for nothing. I had successfully cleaned my entire house in just one day. I had looked at these newspapers with an optimistic mind full of hope. I couldn't give up now. I had to do this, to make my life better.

Nodding my head, I arranged the newspapers with a smile and a greater spirit. I'll turn my life around, I not only promise myself, but to the old man watching over me from above.

~

I fumbled with the doorknob of my front door before finally locking it. Walking down the street while wrapping my flimsy jacket tighter around my shivering body, I blew out a breath.

Okay, maybe finding a job at this weather was a pretty shitty idea.

I had intended to wait the storm out, try to do some other productive thing whilst waiting for it to pass by. 

Fuck, I didn't have it in me to wait. If I did, I probably would've chickened out. 

Besides, looking around for a job in this kind of weather added to the thrill. 

I think.

I shook my head as the wind roared loudly. Fuck, I'm so stupid. Just as I was about to turn around with the intention of not dying, my conscience decided to speak.

You made a promise. Not only to yourself, but to your Pops as well.

I hissed as another strong wind blew. Fuck having my life endangered. I needed to find a job, and fast.