Truthful

Chapter 5

My alarm sounded, meaning it was Monday, meaning I have to see Hayden. I had spent the weekend thinking about what had happened between Hayden and I, it's not that i didn't want it to happen, boy i wanted it to happen, but the problem was is that i hadn't told anyone I'm gay yet. What if Hayden wasn't gay, but straight just looking to find something to spread around school about me? But he could be gay, he could have real feelings for me. I just hope I can make it through the day without anything being said about what had happened.

This morning I walked to school because I didn't want my mum asking a million questions about my mood. But i wasn't in a sad mood or a mad mood, I was just thinking. When I arrived at the school gates I knew I had to stop think otherwise someone would know something is up and I just don't want to talk about it. I took about 5 steps into the school gate when I felt someone grab onto my arm, I turned my head to see it was Hayden.

"Hey I need to talk to you, meet me at the far end fence on the oval" Hayden exclaimed with a worried look on his face.

I didn't say anything I simply just nodded my head, I know I said I did't want to talk about it but I do believe we need to. I turned around to walk away when I noticed Ashley walking towards us.

"Hey guys have you heard?" Ashley asked.

"Heard what?" Hayden asked still looking worried.

"Gees nothing bad", Ashley had noticed the look on Hayden's face, "there is going to be a sort of year dance".

"Does this happen every year?" I asked.

"No, this is the first year it's happening, the principle will talk about it more today at assembly" she said grinning like a cheshire cat.

"Well sounds like fun" I say giggling to her reaction of the news.

"Who are you going to take?" Ashley asked.

"I uhh..." before I could dodge the question the bell rang.

A large crowd of students started to form near the school hall, we were near the hall, but I made sure to go into the crowd to lose Ashley so she didn't ask me again.

Every Monday Bayview has their grade parades, and because grade 10 was the grade with the most students we had to use the school's sports hall. When you walk into the hall there is a small stage which the principle, grade 10 year coordinator, and the vice principle sat, as well as a mic and a stand. On the left hand side of the stage there was pieces of A4 paper going back to where the main door is, which was the door we walked in, on each piece of paper written on it was a letter corresponding to each class, at the front A and at the back I. As the students filled the hall the noise got louder and louder, until the principle stood at the mic. The parade started with the school notices, one of the notices was that the first school soccer match would be next week and would be held at our school, then finally the principle finally addressed the start of school year dance.

The principle informed about the rules, when it would be held, and price. The dance was for grades 10, 11 and 12 and the rules were your general school dance rules, no alcohol, no inappropriate behaviour and no fighting. The dance is going to be held in the hall we were in and would be this coming weekend. When the principle starting talking about how much it was going to cost I was surprised, I thought it would be like $20 or $30 but it was $10 and had to be paid by Friday, as the dance would be on Saturday night at 8pm till midnight. When the principle stopped talking about the dance we were allowed to go to our first class because the bell was about to ring.

I could hardly focus on what Miss Anderson was talking about, because I was thinking about the dance, but also at the same time not trying to make eye contact with Hayden and was trying to ignore Ashley while she kept poking me to talk. I believe after the 100th poke she gave up and left me to my thoughts about the dance, I kind of wanted to take Hayden but then people would ask a lot of questions, but on the other hand its the easy way to come out to everyone. The only problem with taking Hayden to the dance is what if he didn't want to go?, I don't even know if he likes me, I know we kissed but that might've been a mistake. I was also thinking about the kiss, what was Hayden going to say about it at lunch?, lucky enough I didn't have to wait too long for lunch.

I must have been deep in thought because it was already lunch time, a lessons usually runs for 50 minutes but he seemed only 5 minutes. As I was packing my books into my bag I looked up towards the door of the classroom, Hayden was leaving the room and he turned around and smiled, I nod reassuring him that I will meet him at the back of the oval. Once I finished packing my bag Ashley asked "wanna come to the tuck shop?, I'll buy you something?".

"I would love to, but I got to talk to someone so I'll see you after you get your lunch" I responded making my way out of the classroom.

My heart started to beat fast, I was worried what he might say, but he smiled at me when he left the room so it might be a bad thing that he want's to talk about but a actually a good thing. Hayden is leaning on the fence looking out to the bushland that backs on to the school, he can hear my foot steps, he turns around. Hayden looks as nervous as I am, we stand looking at each other for a few moments, neither of us know who should start talking first. Hayden's looking down at the ground shuffling his feet.

"Hey" I say trying to break the awkward tension.

Hayden raises his head from the ground, "hey, thanks for coming to see me".

I can hear the nerves in his voice, "what did you wanna talk to me about?", I didn't need to ask that, I knew what it was about.

"The other day when I...." Hayden began as fiddled with his fingers.

"Yeah....." I say for him to continue.

"I don't know what came over me, please don't be mad at me", I could see the sorrow in his eyes.

"I'm not mad just confused, does this mean your gay?" I don't know how I asked him that so easily, it's like I got guts all of a sudden.

"Yeah, but no one knows, I hope you still want to be friends" Hayden agains changes his focus from me to the ground.

"Hey", I place my hand on his arm, "I will always be your friend". I look around me, no one is close enough to hear us and can barely see us, so I slide my hand down his arm so my hand is in his, "I have told only one other person this", I take a breathe, "I'm gay to, I like you and not just as a friend".

Hayden's face rises and this time he doesn't look nervous, he's smiling like a kid in a candy store. "I like you to but I'm scared", Hayden's face goes from happy to scared. Hayden lets go of my hand, "What if people don't except it, what if they bully us, or much worse".

"From what I have seen your friends, our friends, would still like us anyways, and for the other people it doesn't matter what they say, we have friends that have our backs". The scared look on Hayden's face begins to fade.

"How about this instead of having to tell everyone, why don't we go to the dance together, that way we don't have to tell anyone we will just show them". Hayden's idea was perfect, but wait is he asking me out?

"What are you asking?" I ask Hayden hoping for the answer i want.

"I'm asking", he takes my hands in his, "will you go out with me and do me the pleasure of going to the dance with me?".

It took all of my self control not to kiss him there and then, "I would love to, but until the dance can we not make it known to anyone?" I ask still at little hesitant what people will say. If we just wait till the dance it will be a lot easier to deal with stuff if it goes wrong we can just leave, but if we do it at school we cant just leave the grounds.

"Deal" Hayden reaches out his hand for a handshake like a business man would to close a business deal.

I reach my hand out and shake his hand, we both started laughing out of control, if people were looking at us they would of thought we were crazy. After the laughing died out we both stood there smiling at each other, we didn't even notice we were still holding each others hand. We both looked down at our hands and let go.

We decided we should head over to our usual spot where we sat at lunch, and not to my surprise Ashley was waiting for us.

"Why are you both so happy?" she asked.

"Because we are here with you, why else?" I joked which made Ashley giggle.

Little did she know the real reason, well I guess she will find out this weekend.