Nathan Sykes FanFic: Best Friends Since Childhood

Chapter 32- "Too perfect, looks like you've been chiseled out of stone!"

What a coincidence, me and Nath were just talking about Victoria Secret and now I'm being offered to do a line for them.

How fantastic.

Why couldn't this happen with Converse?! Or some sort of clothing company?!

Sitting on my bed, with a sigh. Nibbling my bottom lip closing my eyes tight "I... I... I can't" I mumble running my hand through my damp hair holding back the tears building up in my eyes.

No you can't cry, there is no point sitting here crying over my problems I can't do anything right now, it'll take a bit longer for me to get back to a healthy body weight and even more time to build confidence.

Standing back up looking in the mirror "fine. You have a magazine photo shoot with The Wanted and an interview, you can meet Sophie there" Eleanor says I nod not really listening "bye" I say before hanging up, throwing my phone on my bed. Covering my face with my hands in a sigh, "tink you okay?" Turning around to see Nath looking at me curiously, nodding a little "no you're not" he replies giving me a I'm not falling for that look "it doesn't matter, I said no anyway" I mumble.

It's my own damn fault, I'm scared and self-conscious.

"Tink-" I cut him off "you were the only person who I really felt confident around with my appearance and body, sure I'm confident on a stage or while acting because I'm not being me, it's another person who has confidence or might not its a role! All written on a script the person is completely made up! They could have four heads if the writer wanted! That's the point it's not me so I'm fine with it. You'e the only only person who has seen has seen me in anything less then actually clothing... But yet right now I still feel a bit uncomfortable with my towel the only thing covering me, I don't like that! I shouldn't feel like that around you of all people. And the main reason why I haven't slept with anyone expect you is because I don't want anyone to see me. I hate thinking like this! I wish so badly I could stop but I can't... If I could I'd go back in time and tell my self to fucking eat and not be stupid because it's affected me more then I thought it would!" I pause not realising I've been crying, all through my rant. Taking a breath before carrying on.

"And oh course I get asked to do a line for Victoria Secret! A run way model might kill for my body: Small waist, thin everywhere! Bit of rib showing, collar bone coming out, small boobs! Just add their flawless perfect face and long legs. But it isn't healthy! It's not healthy but everyone is obsessed with It! If I was in cavemen times I would be dead. Seriously! The the bigger the better, because if the women was bigger they were the ones to survive child brith while the thin bony women died! Because they weren't fit enough to survive the whole survival of the fittest theory! And if I did do the Victoria Secret line, girls would look at me and think 'I need to look like that' when they don't! They should look how they want to look! Be who they want to be. Not be victimised by the media that show how girls are 'meant' to look! I don't want girls to look at me and think 'I'm not that skinny, I'm not pretty enough, I need to change' because they don't!! I don't want to portray that message." I carry on ranting whilst crying. Wimp.

Looking up at Nathan, forgetting he was there when I was ranting,

there's a silence in the room no one says a word. Me, I just don't want to go off into part three of the rant but Nathan I think he's thinking of something to say.

"You know your tattoo"

Nath says, creasing my eyebrows... How does Nath know?- Oh! The trapeze... And probably the times I've walked out in my underwear, forgetting the fact other people are in the house...

"Yeah?" I reply not catching on "what does it say?" He asks I'm 70% he already knows... "The past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it." I say Nath nods walking forwards "right there" he says trailing his finger over my towel where my tattoo is.