Ev ~ 3

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I didn't speak a whole lot the morning of my departure. I had spent the previous day with Kai. After we had stayed up late watching movies in his living room, I fell asleep and he dragged me up to his room where we both passed out on the small full-sized bed.

I woke before the sun rose and snuck out of Kai's house, but not before writing him a note.

Once I got back to my house, which didn't even happen to be mine, but the Shadowhunter that had trained me since I was two, I packed a bag of all the things I couldn't leave behind. Once I was packed, I met Warner downstairs and we headed to the nearest warlock.

I didn't bother to learn the name of the warlock who would create the portal to take me to New York. In all honesty, I didn't really care. I was too busy reminiscing. But not about the life I had here. I was thinking about the three people--the only people I had let myself care about: Kai, Warner, and his granddaughter, Lizzie. I only ever saw her six months out of the year, because that was the time she came back from France to Germany and stayed with me and Warner. But she was like my family, just as much as Warner was. Just as much as Kai was.

When the portal was ready, the warlock told me to say my goodbyes. I turned to Warner, holding back the tears or the sappy last words. I would be strong. That's what he taught me my whole life. I wouldn't fail him now.

But the moment he wrapped his arms around me, I lost it. Before I knew it, my eyes had teared up. I buried my head in his shirt, not wanting the warlock to see me like this, and hugged Warner back.

"Why are you crying?" Warner asked. "We'll see each other again."

"No." I whispered into his shirt. "Don't say that. Don't say we'll see each other again, or Kai will be happy without me, or that Lizzie will be okay while I'm gone. Don't jinx it. Just don't say anything."

He placed his hand on the back of my head, holding my the way I never let anyone hold me, but how I wished Warner always would. "Alright. I won't say anything."

We stood there long enough for me to lose track of time before I pulled away from him. He smiled down at me. I'd never seen him put his guard down before. Not like this. He had always taught me to think with my head, not my heart. That was the only way I could get past the death of my parents. I wondered if he knew that when he told me that motto, or if he just knew a good soldier lived by those words.

"I'm proud of you, you know." He said after a long while. "You're so strong, Eveline, and not just as a Shadowhunter. As a girl, getting over the lose of family. And now, as a young woman, leaving her home."

"Warner..." I began. I didn't want to do this. It would only make leaving so much harder.

"Just let me say it. Please. I have to say if." I don't know if I'd ever heard him say the word please. "You're so strong, Eveline Carstairs. Your strength makes you brave. And that bravery, that courage... It's rare, even in a Shadowhunter. Don't let this new world change you, don't let them take that away from you."

"Warner, I'm going to New York, not a different dimension," I told him, but my voice shook as I said it.

"I know, but..." He sighed. "I feel like I'm sending you off to a strange, foreign place all the same."

It struck me then: this wasn't his idea. The small part of me that had been mad at him for making me leave released its anger. But if he wasn't making me go, then who was? He didn't give me a chance to ask.

"I want you to have this." Warner reached into his pocket, and when he brought out his hand again he was holding a silver bracelet. There were Caviar beaded accents all around it, with angelic tunes on it, too. "It's sterling silver, so you can get it wet and it won't rust." He explained almost shyly. "It was your mother's. She left it at home the night she died. She gave it to me in her will. Wear it, and let it remind you of the courage you have inside of your heart. Let it remind you of the strength you have that no one can take away."

I put the bracelet on around my left wrist. I didn't really understand what was so important about it, but I had to admit it was pretty.

"If you shake it, it can turn into a whip. The end then becomes laced with mercury." Warner explained.

I gasped, looking up at him, suddenly understanding the value of the gift. This was what my mother used to fight with. This was the weapon that she had used in battle. And yet she had left it at home the last night she had lived through. Maybe the thing around my wrist was the reason she was gone now. I scolded myself, telling myself that if I could blame my parents deaths on a weapon, I was seriously losing it.

"Thank you." I told him. "I... I don't have anything to give you. I'm sorry."

He smiled at me. "I wasn't expecting anything in return. But I know your mother would have wanted you to have that. It will give me peace of mind knowing you have it."

I nodded. Then, surprising both of us, I kissed him on his cheek.

"You've been a good father to me, Warner." I said. I turned toward the portal. I had to do this before I lost my courage. I took three steps, and then stopped, just in front of the blue floating water. I turned around, taking in the sight of him one more time, just in case.

When I walked through the portal, I thought of New York. I thought of big buildings and taxis and hot dog stands and baseball games. I thought of loud streets and crowded sidewalks.

I opened my eyes, smelling something like exhaust fumes from a car. When I saw where I was, the smell made sense. The air was thick with car exhaust, the smell mixing faintly with a Chinese restaurant that was twenty feet from me. There were so many people just on this street that I was grateful I wasn't claustrophobic. The cars in the street honked and the drivers yelled. The people on the sidewalk waved for taxis. Everyone was everyone's way, and yet no one noticed anybody else.

I forced myself to stay positive. I was in New York. This had to mean something good. But little did I know that New York was cursed, and it would curse me along with it.

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