I woke up a couple hours later and headed back down stairs with Payton in my arms. I could see that when we were sleeping, my mom decided to have what she calls "fun", by the used condom lying on the dirty living room carpet.
I sat Payton down in his high chair and headed towards the refrigerator. I grabbed out the eggs and brought them to the stove where a clean pan (that I washed) was.
"Today," I said turning to Payton, "I'm going to make scrambled eggs! Well at least I'll try." I smiled.
He laughed and kicked his feet around in excitement. I grabbed the three eggs that were left and began cooking.
***
It was mostly silent while he were eating. Other than the soft thud of the eggs falling back onto Payton's plate since it's a little hard for him to hold his spoon. I hear the door open and I see my mother walk in with a lit cigarette in her hand. I roll my eyes at her as she goes towards Payton.
She looks at his plate and steels a handful of eggs.
"Hey! Those aren't yours! I made them for Payton and I!" I yell with a shaky voice.
She turns to me.
"Fine." She throws the eggs at my face and walks away to her room.
Payton growls.
"I know, Payton. I wish she wasn't so rude too." I say frowning.
***
"I'm going out. See you later." My mother yells while walking out the door.
"Where to?" I ask.
"Where ever the hell I wanna go. Take care of Payton." She slammed the door and walked to her rusty, old, broken down car. I look out the window and stare at her as she pulls out of the drive way. I look over to Payton. He was still giggling as he watched The Wiggles.
"I'll be right back." I say to him. I head to the bathroom and I see one of my mother's old shaving razors. I hit it against the sink, breaking it and leaving me with just the blade. I take it and examine it as if I've never seen one before. I place it at my wrist and take a deep breath in.
I can't be doing this. I think to myself. I'm only eight, I shouldn't even know what "cutting yourself" is. I should be playing tag with my friends, not watching my little brother twenty-four seven.
I exhale, put the razor in the trash so my mother won't see, and go back to the living room with Payton.
