Tobily: After All This Time

Chapter 2: But I Thought...

  I finally arrive at home and Hanna and Jordan are cuddled up on the couch, eating popcorn and watching a movie. They look up at me surprised.

"Hey, your back early." Hanna says with a mouth full of popcorn.

"I didn't know Yvonne was joining us so I had to leave before she decided to hit me in the fist with her face." I say.

"Em, you cannot fight her." Hanna says now a bit worried.

"Don't worry that's why I left. I don't get what Toby see's in her, I mean sometimes I can't tell is she's 12 or 60 and if she calls me G.B.F one more time I'm gonna grab her and just-" I start ranting.

"Whoa Em, calm down. What in the hell is a G.B.F?" Hanna says with a chuckle.

"Gay Best Friend." I say still annoyed.

Hanna starts laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Nothing." She says, still laughing.

"No, tell me." I demand.

"Just don't go stealing Toby's girlfriend." She says, now laughing harder than before.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, now chuckling myself.

"Well, you've kind of slept with every girl whose ever made a comment to you regarding your sexuality." She says and stops laughing but then cracks a smile.

"No I haven't." I say defensively

"Okay let me go down the list. Paige, Samara, Thalia, Al-" She starts listing.

"Okay Hanna shut up!" I cut her off before she names the last one(She's the only one that knows about me ad Alison).

"Wait, who was the last one?" Jordan ask with his accent, smiling at me.

"None of your business." I say playfully and go into the bathroom.

     I wonder why that hug from Toby felt the way it did I felt the way it did, I mean last time I felt that way towards him was before... I came out. Could I possibly have feelings toward Toby? Oh my God, I like Toby? No, this is just a phase. I've never really been attracted to any guy except Toby, so this must be real. I could never do that to Spencer, then again she did it to Hanna, but that doesn't matter. I'm not going to tell him, but what if it turns out he does like me and never tells me because he thinks I'm not interested and we spend the rest of our lives not knowing that we had feelings for each other? Oh my God I sound like a crazy person. I haven't really been this crazy over anyone since Maya. I have to tell him but I want to tell someone else first, most likely Hanna. Spencer's so gonna flip when she finds out. What if she never finds out? No, I can't do that to Toby. Ugh I freaking hate my life.

   I peek my head into the living room and Hanna is sitting by herself and Jordan is in the kitchen.

"Psssst, Hanna come here." I whisper.

"Why are you whispering? Do you need a pad or something? Jordan doesn't care he knows-" She starts.

"No I don't need a freaking-,will you just come here please?" I say to Hanna with a WTF look.

"Then what is it?" She asks just barely leaving the couch.

"Come here and you'll find out." I say.

   She walks over to me with her hands crossed and peeks into the bedroom, I yank her in and shut the door.

   "What the hell Emily?" She whispers.

"Okay, I might have feelings for someone but it would hurt one of my bestfriends if I did anything about it." I say nervously.

"Okay, what is up with everyone dating everyone Else's exes? It can't be any of us because, none of us have gone out with any girls so it must be-"

"It's not... a girl." I quickly blurt.

"Oh my God Emily! I thought you were gay?" Hanna says scooting closer to me.

"I am, he's the only guy I have ever been attracted to. I think it's like I'm into girls plus him, if that even makes sense." I say immediately realizing how stupid I sound.

"Who is it?" Hanna urges.

"Promise you won't judge?" I ask.

"Why, is he ugly?" Hanna says.

"No, it just might be someone you know. It's Toby." I utter.

"Oh my God Emily!" She almost screams.

"Shut up." I whisper.

"So your homo-plus-Toby sexual." She jokes.

"It's not funny Han, this is serious. I don't even know if he feels the same way. He seems pretty happy with Yvonne." I say with a sigh.

"You'll never know unless you tell him." Hanna says.

"What about Spencer?" I say.

"I don't think she's worried about Toby, If she doesn't have a problem dating my Ex she shouldn't have a problem with you dating hers." Hanna said making me feel a bit better.

 I see her expression change when she says this.

"Are you okay with it Han?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with you and Toby?" She says confused.

"I mean Spencer and Caleb." I say a bit more subtle.

"Yea, I'm fine with it. Me and Caleb aren't together and I'm marrying Jordan, what do I have to be upset about?" She bluffs.

     This doesn't make me feel any better if Hanna isn't over Spencer and Caleb and she's getting married, how in the hell will Spencer react when she has just gotten into a relationship. Honestly I don't care anymore I need to tell Toby, but there is just one thing in my way... Yvonne.

"Alright, I'm going to go over there right now." I say and go out the room.

"Good luck Em!" Hanna yells to me before I walk out the door.

      I don't know how any of this will go but after Alison I am never hiding my feelings from anyone ever again. I get in my car and practice what I'm gonna say to Toby but everything I say sounds stupid. I just hope Yvonne isn't there because I'm about ready to punch her square in the nose. I finally make it to the front of Toby's house and it brings back old memories. I remember talking to him on the porch, thanking him for saving me from Ben. When he talked to me and helped me realize who I really am. I had the old CD he made me in the glove compartment, I wonder if he still has his? I can't believe what I'm about to do after everything. I get out of my car and walk up to the door I barely knock on it. A few moments later Toby answers the door. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for whatever may happen after this.

"Hey Em, are you okay?" He says.

"Um, no actually. Can I come in?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course." He says and lets me in.

"What's wrong?" He says slightly concerned.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I say under my breath.

"Doing what? Em, your scaring me." He says in a serious tone.

"No don't be, it's nothing life threatening." I say,

"Then what is it?" Toby starts getting impatient.

"Toby, I-I've been thinking and I realize that I don't just think of you as a friend." I start.

"What are you saying? Emily you like me?" He says with a surprised face.

"Oh my gosh, I knew I shouldn't have came here." I say and get up and go towards the door.

   As I try to make my way to the door Toby grabs my arm and pulls me back, he pushes me against the wall and kisses me and it feels just like I hoped it would. He pulls his lips away from mine and whispers in my ear.

"I think I like you too."