Finding My Way Back to You

Connection

Idina POV

He must be an idiot. Why the hell would he ask me that kind of question? He knows what I'm going through...or maybe he doesn't. How could he? We don't talk...but he should still know. I'm a fragile person with feelings that are hurt easily.

This whole thing was a mess. I wish it would go back to normal. I wanted to be with him. I wanted for us to be a family. He had someone else now. When I saw the way he looked at her, it crushed me. He loves her. People always care, when it's too late. I'm one of those people.

James POV

All I wanted was for Idina to tell me she doesn't love me. I couldn't move on without those words. It was like breaking a promise, or telling a secret. I needed permission, and she wouldn't give it to me.

We had a show in a few hours. I knew I had to talk to her again. Not doing anything about it only worsened the situation. It never hurts to try.

I walked into her dressing room. Without saying a word, I went straight to the couch and  was ready to talk.

"Uh...can I help you?" She said.

I rubbed my hands together, trying to think of the words. No, I was sick of saying the right thing. I needed to speak from me to her.

"There's always going to be a part of me that loves you, Dee. It will never go away. That connection is never lost. No matter how hard I try, it'll always be there. I told you exactly why I left that night. It was all too much for me. I needed a break. This is that break. I'm finally clearing my head and trying to find happiness. Now, I don't know if that's with this girl, with you, or with someone else. That's what I'm trying to do; figure it all out."

She stared at me, longer than usual.

"James...you can't just come in here, and say all of that, after what you did."

What? That wasn't what I was expecting. I don't know what I did.

"Sorry, what exactly did I do?"

She stood up from her chair, walking around the room, and then stopping at the couch.

"You wanted me to tell you I don't love you anymore. That's not something you can just flat out ask me. I'm not going to lie to you. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said that."

"You love me?"

I saw a smile trying to escape, but she held it back.

"Yeah, but what does it matter? You have someone else now...and I'm happy for you. It's just- it's hard to see you with Steph."

"I didn't know you still felt that way. I'm sorry."

Tears started to fall down her cheek. I got up and brought her into a hug. She let out a sigh as she placed her hand on the back of my neck.

"What is it?" I asked.

She pulled away and gently caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes. Her touch brought memories back.

"I just- I missed you."

I gave her a half smile as she leaned up to my lips. I looked in her eyes, and saw the pain that she was hiding. My hands found their way to her cheeks and I had my lips interlocked with hers. Only one thought went through my mind: I love her.

Super busy with school. Sorry. I'll be posting more soon ❤️