Reasons

chapter 4

Knuckles had led him to a small clearing near the ocean. Two lone trees stood opposite of one another, holding a hammock in between.

"And here is my humble abode! Its uh, really humble."

Shadow grinned. "I like it."

"T-Thank you! I do my best!" he replied, confidently.

The two sat on the hammock in silence, the sound of the ocean waves rolling against the sand and back filling the air. The trees danced in the wind, gently rocking their current resting place. It was peaceful. Serene. Shadow had never seen anything like it before, except in his dreams.

'Or nightmares.' He couldn't decide which.

They all ended the same. They were always nonsense to him. It seemed as if he was reliving a past life, or the memories of another. Nothing he dreamed ever held any memorial value to him, and he could never recognize the girl. She was in all of them. He didn't understand why he dreamed either, being a synthetic being. None of it really made sense. He'd only really started to question it now.

They all left him with a feeling of emptiness. Of loss. Loneliness. He couldn't really understand why.

He felt Knuckles shift, snapping him back to reality and out of his thoughts. He looked toward the other, who was surprisingly looking right back at him.

"Uh...u-um..." he looked away, vibrant violet eyes filled with an emotion Shadow couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Is something the matter?" Shadow cocked his head, ear twitching to the side.

Knuckles shook his head. "N-No! I just...Uh..." he paused, looking nervously back at Shadow. "Um...Can...Can I see your hand?"

Shadow raised a brow, but complied. He reached out his ungloved hand, giving the other a patient but confused stare. Knuckles gently took it, holding it in both of his own. He ran a thumb over where Shadow's synthetic skin had been scraped off, now covered in medical tape. Shadow didn't pull away, finding the touch oddly comforting.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, his brows upturned in worry, eyes now trained on the hedgehog.

He shook his head. "Not anymore. It did at first, since the skin had nerves on it. But with it gone I can't feel anything there anymore. Its just metal."

The other hummed in response, concern not fully draining from his features. He looked back down at Shadow's hand. He continued running his thumb around the wound in a circular motion.

"Sorry, Shadow." he said quietly, barely above a whisper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn't your fault."

"But I still feel bad. You got hurt!" he was now holding Shadow's hand in his own, lacing his fingers through the others, still running his thumb across his skin.

That incriminating warmth spread throughout Shadow's body again, and he could feel it rise to his muzzle. He didn't mind as much though. He felt at ease.

"I'm fine now." he assured.

"...You promise?" his eyes trained back on Shadow's.

"Yes." he smiled.

The silence was no longer awkward. It was nice. Comfortable.

"Hey! Knuckles!" the pair jumped upon hearing the badger's voice cut through the quiet.

Knuckles unraveled his hand from Shadow's to wave at Sticks. "What's up?"

Shadow looked back at the badger, slightly miffed at her for interrupting.

"Would you and Mr. Mysterious wanna come down to the beach with us? The spot we're goin' to is a lot less boring." she gestured further down the coast, where the wind seemed to affect the current a lot more. Larger waves rolled onto the sand, pulling at the ground before it.

"Sure!" he turned to Shadow, "You wanna come with?"

Shadow hesitantly nodded.

"Cool! Just don't try any funny business buddy. I got my eye on you!" she motioned at Shadow, then swiftly turned around, walking back the direction she came.

As Knuckles got up to follow, Shadow hesitated. "Are you sure its a good idea for me to come along?"

He smiled. "It'll be fine! I promise!"

---

"Isn't it wonderful Shadow?"

He breathed in through his nose, and out again through his mouth. One step at a time, he carried himself to the waves.

"One day, we'll be down there!"

His stride was slow, as if going any faster would disturb the ocean in all its tranquility.

"One day, I'll finally know what its like to feel the sand sink beneath my feet, the big blue ocean's tides tugging at my toes. I've read about it! It sounded nice."

The words rang through his ears, gently and repetitively, as he approached the ocean. His eyes scanned the coast-line cautiously. The others had gone off to swim, Knuckles along with them.

"I want you to come with me too, Shadow!"

He slowly walked towards the rolling tide, feet reaching the damp sand.

"You're my friend, silly!"

He could feel the sand sink under his weight, softly pulling him down.

"Because I like you!"

The tide reached him, cool water rushing past his feet, pausing briefly before pulling back, tugging the land with it and beckoning him further. The ground around his feet decayed, drifting into the ocean now, allowing his feet to sink more and more into the sand.

"Do I need a reason?"

He inhaled sharply, as a wave of emotions crashed into him, along with the cool salt water. He felt something prick at his eyes. He didn't know why. Tears started rolling down his muzzle, to his lips. As quick as it came, the wave had left, the tears along with it, as he dragged his arm across his face.

"Shadow?" a gentle voice came from behind him. He blinked, too startled, too disoriented to react.

She walked closer, until she came to his right side. They stood together silently until she spoke up again. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He nodded absentmindedly, prompting her to continue. "The waves have an endless repetitive pattern. Its soothing. Anytime I'm stressed I like to watch the tide roll in and back out again."

He didn't respond. He didn't know how. He didn't understand why she decided to talk to him in the first place. She seemed dead-set on getting him to talk, and continued attempting conversation.

"I know it must be difficult. Interacting with people who you used to antagonize any chance you got." He shifted uncomfortably. "But...I know that there has to be some reason you decided to stay with us. So there's something in you willing to try."

He chuckled, catching her attention. "I used to think the same thing. But I honestly don't know anymore."

She raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know the reason. I don't know why I'm doing this. I just am."

She scoffed. "Oh come on, there has to be some reason, right?"

He shook his head. "If there is, I don't know it."

"Then why are you here?"

He paused. He saw Knuckles off in the distance, excitedly talking to Tails about something, his vibrant purple eyes widening along with his smile, and he felt that same warmth again. He finally understood what it meant, and smiled.

"Do I need a reason?"