Chapter 12

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They head to the beach mid-morning, finding a secluded stretch away from the crowds.

It’s ridiculously hot already but there’s a welcome ocean breeze that it makes it bearable.

They sprawl side by side on a large sun-bleached green blanket, Nadine propped up on her elbow and watching Cheryl.  She can’t quite get used to this – being free to look without fear of being caught. Hell, she still has difficulty believing that the whole situation – her and Cheryl – isn’t a figment of her imagination.

Last night she’d barely slept a wink, kept awake by a tumult of thoughts. What would happen once Cheryl returned to the UK? How would they maintain a relationship 5000 miles apart? What would the girls and Hilary say? What if all became too much work? Would Cheryl and Ashley reconcile? (She’d forgiven him once. Maybe she’d give him another chance).

But Nadine can’t bring herself to broach any of these questions because she doesn’t want reality to encroach and spoil things, not yet.

“What’s on your mind, babe?” Cheryl asks, squinting beneath the shade of her hand.

“Nothin’. Just thinkin’ about how lucky I am.”

The dimples make an appearance then. “Not as lucky as us,” the Geordie responds with a wink. “You’re the sexiest woman on this whole beach.”

Blushing, Nadine looks away, only to feel to Cheryl’s palm on her cheek, drawing her attention back to the other woman. “It’s true. You’re gorgeous.”

There’s something about the intensity of Cheryl’s stare that leaves Nadine feeling completely exposed. It’s equal parts exciting and terrifying because she’s never experienced this kind of powerful attraction towards anyone before, let alone had it reciprocated.

Cheryl’s hand shifts, curling around the nape of Nadine’s neck, gently tugging her towards waiting lips.

Normally Nadine doesn’t go in for public displays of affection. She’s always prided herself on being a bit more reserved and demure than the other girls but Cheryl makes her want to throw caution to the wind.

“It’s okay,” Cheryl says, as if sensing Nadine’s hesitation. “No one’s lookin’.”

“Really? Because I think someone might notice two members of Girls Aloud makin’ out.”

An objection rises and falls on the Geordie’s lips, stymied as she is by Nadine’s logic. “Fine,” Cheryl pouts, rolling onto her back. “But I can’t be held responsible for me actions once we get back to your place.”

Nadine blinks, her mind reeling with possibilities.

**

“Did you know then, the whole time?” Nadine asks after biting down on a smoked salmon blini. “About me... fancyin’ you,” she clarifies, feeling her cheeks flush. Even though it’s all out in the open now, she’s still a bit embarrassed talking about it.

Cheryl takes a sip of water. “Not at first, no. But I kind of got an idea when I saw you checkin’ out me arse on the beach at Morro Bay.”

Nadine’s mouth drops open in horror. “Oh my God.”

The Geordie’s inability to conceal her smirk gives her away after a minute. She shakes her head. “Not really. Was worth it to see your face though.”

Nadine swats at her but Cheryl catches her hand, entwining their fingers.  “But to answer your question – no, I didn’t know.” She pauses, shrugs gently. “Well, I knew somethin’ was off but I thought you were just p!ssed off at us because I showed up without warnin’ and dumped me marital problems on you.”

“Cheryl, I would never-“

“I know,” the brunette interrupts, squeezing Nadine’s hand in reassurance.  “We haven’t been close for a long time so I just assumed that’s what it was.”

There’s a note of sadness in Cheryl’s voice and it makes Nadine’s stomach churn because she’s the one who uprooted her whole life, she chose to impose this distance between herself and the girls and it’s only now that she’s beginning to see the detrimental effect it’s had. She wonders how the others really feel about this, realising that she’s never thought to ask their opinion, having taken their support for granted.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” Nadine says thickly, the words clogging in her throat. “I’m sorry you thought that, even for a second.”

“It’s okay,” Cheryl says, bringing Nadine’s hand to her lips and planting a kiss on each knuckle. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, you listen to me,” Cheryl says firmly, tightening her grip on Nadine’s hand for emphasis. It’s not often the Geordie shows this no-nonsense side, but when she does, it makes people take notice. “The band’s not gonna be around forever. You’ve only done what we’re all tryin’ to – layin’ the groundwork for life after Girls Aloud.”

“I’m so proud of you, you know that?” Cheryl continues.  “I couldn’t move to another country and start me own businesses from nothin’. That’s an amazin’ achievement.”

“It wasn’t just me,” Nadine scoffs. “I had my family behind me.”

“Maybe, but it was your money, your investment.”

Nadine doesn’t have any comeback to that. She looks at Cheryl for a long moment, a rueful smile crossing her lips. “Have you ever thought of a career as a motivational speaker?”

“Babe, I’ve got me hands full keepin’ Simon Cowell in line.”

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