Aries: You must be born on a highway, that's were most accidents happen
Taurus: No, no i'm listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much shit all at once
Gemini: Have you heard of that new perfume "stripper garbage"? Good, because you're wearing it
Cancer: Honey, I've got heels higher than your standards
Leo: Why don't you check on eBay and see if they have a life for sale
Virgo: Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on the way down?
Libra: If you really want to know about your mistakes you should ask your parents
Scorpio: Oh, you like spreading rumors about me? It's nice to know you have a hobby spreading other things but your legs
Sagittarius: I'd slap you, but then that would be animal abuse
Capricorn: There's a fine line between wearing make-up and looking like you got gangbanged by Crayola
Aquarius: shit happens, I mean, look at your face
Pisces: keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there
