Aries: It's so fetch
Taurus: Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die
Gemini: There are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything about it
Cancer: I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy
Leo: She doesn't even go here!
Virgo: One time, she punched me in the face...and it was awesome!
Libra: Is butter a carb?
Scorpio: Boo, you whore
Sagittarius: Get in loser, we're going shopping
Capricorn: I don't hate you cause ur fat, ur fat because I hate you
Aquarius: So if you're from Africa, why are you white?
Pisces: I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him!
