One and the same

• Jo's pov •

On the way to the mall I got stuck in traffic. Gosh why is there always so many cars here?! After a few minuets looking for a parking spot, I finally found one and parked the car. I looked at my black iPhone to see what time it was. I was late. I hurried into the big building and breathed heavily when I reached the small restaurant I was supposed to meat my friends at.

"Jo!", I heard someone call in the corner of the room. I found my way between all the tables and reached the little group of girls at the largest table.

"Hey guys", I said. "Have you already ordered?"

"No we were waiting for you! Can't start with someone of us missing", Daisy said and winked at me.

A waitress came up to us and asked what we wanted to drink, we all ordered sparkling water. She came back with our drinks right away and asked what we wanted to eat.

All the other ordered a salad and when she turned to me I answered

"The chicken with roasted potatoes and tzatsiki please" everybody around the table looked at me with faces saying 'oh no honey you're already fat enough'. I answered their looks with an irritated face and they looked away.

After a minuet of silence Cece started talking about how great it felt to be back at the gym. "You just feel happier after a good workout! And after two hours at the gym a took a run in the woods! Ah you just feel so good about yourself after a run!"

Everyone around the table agreed with her. Everyone but me. When Cece noticed I sat quiet she asked me right out "Don't you agree Jo? Maybe you want to join me next time?"

"NO!!!" I wanted to yell right in her face. "YOU'RE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD! YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT YOUR WEIGH THIS MUCH AND MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF!" but I didn't. Instead I just looked down at the table, avoiding her superior eyes.

She always did this. Brag about how perfect she was. How amazing an much better she was compered to us, or sometimes just me. She always wanted to be the centre of attention.

I had always been the one at the edge. I don't have to be the number on focus all the time. But sometimes now and then would be nice.

And when I get to be the centre of attention, I feel "Hey, they are interested in me!"

But then it's just back to them again.

When the food came the conversations started again, but I just sat there. Not saying much. Just listening.

The rest if the day continued like this. Some of the girls asked me if I was sick, so I answered with a "No. Why?".

"You usually talks nonstop, and you're all quiet now", Daisy told.

"I'm fine", I lied. I felt like a stranger here, with my best friends.

"You're right. I usually always talk." I thought to myself. But it feels like they actually don't want to hear me all the times. Like I'm talking to the air. And only the wind will remember my words until it fades away.

When we had been at the mall for hours the rest of the group finally wanted to say good bye. Cece's comment at the restaurant had really destroyed my shopping mode.

And beside, tomorrow school starts again and we will meet every day anyway, so it wasn't like a good bye for forever. Just for now.

When I got home my mom asked if I was hungry. I told her "no", and walked up to my room, took a long shower then turned on the TV and fell asleep.