Bars and White

Chapter Nine

"ORDER UP!" Ben's booming voice surfaced from behind us and her hand left my vice-like grip.

"I'll be right back ok?" Her eyes were kind and I let her go.

As she stood up though, her foot got caught on mine and she tripped. I was too slow to catch her and she stumbled a little. Immediately, I helped her up and began to apologize profusely.

"I'm so so sorry," I gasped out and she laughed.

"You're too nice Danny."

That's what she had said to me. That I was too nice. Back then, I was always apologizing. All I did was try to appease other people. And it got me nowhere. In the end, I couldn't even save her. I was weak and pathetic.

"I'm still waiting."

Cammie's voice interrupted my thoughts and I suddenly remember what she was waiting for. However, I refused. I refused to admit that I was in the wrong although I knew I was. Cammie needed to see that I wasn't some cuddly teddy bear. I was a broken monster and she needed to leave now. I snarled at her.

"F*ck off," I hoped she would get the idea that I didn't want her anymore. All feelings of guilt from before had vanished. I needed to stop playing some sort of game with this girl. Everything was perfect before she showed up. If I could just get back to that serenity.

"Again with the vulgar language. Don't you ever listen?"

Her words made me even angrier and I turned away. I was breathing heavily now and she needed to leave before I lost control. But being the stubborn bull that she was, Cammie continued.

"Is it that hard to apologize, Danny boy?

I immediately lost it when she called me that. I whirled around and walked right up to the bars so I was just a few feet from the doorway where she stood.

"Why don't you go back to where you came from? Maybe you'll die just like your brother is going to."

It was the longest I had ever spoken to her and I instantly saw the pain in her eyes. The tears welled up and started to spill over the edge. The damage was done and I felt absolutely no remorse. As she ran away, I laughed.

That night, the monster attacked with renewed vigor.

She has seen you for what you really are. Congratulations.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the long night.

The next day it was very humid. My cell felt very sticky and suffocating. The air was so thick that I could almost grasp the empty space before my eyes. My wounds had only worsened and I reluctantly disinfected them with urine. Some days I wondered why I even bothered to keep myself alive.

So you can suffer for what you did to her.

The bell rang. At the sound I instinctively looked up at my doorway. Cammie's bright pink hair crossed my mind. I shook my head violently. Cammie wasn't going to come back. She had run away and I had wanted her to leave. She was nothing but a nuisance. For some reason though, I felt slightly empty inside. Cammie's absence seemed to create a huge space in my cell and I was left slightly depressed.

Pushing my feelings aside, I concluded that I would adjust to solitude once again. I walked over to my bars and slumped against them, facing my wall. The face was not as malicious today. I stared at the cracks of the mouth. They were slightly curved upwards in a sort of expression where it wasn't exactly a smile but it gave me a warm feeling. The coldness of the bars pressed against my back. My vision went dark as I was thrown into another flashback.

"Danny!" her voice was shrill and I ducked as a pillow went hurling over my head.

"Great aim!" I yelled back.

"Why do you always have to be such an asshole?!" She screamed and this time, I wasn't fast enough to avoid the glass vase.

It smashed against my right shoulder and I collapsed among the shards. My shoulder stung like a bitch and I instantly heard her harsh gasp. In a flash her beautiful face appeared over my head. All traces of anger were gone and she was clearly worried sick.

"Oh my gosh! Danny I'm so sorry! I completely thought you were going to dodge it! Damn it this is all my fault!" She began to tear up and I hid my smile. She was too cute for her own good.

Despite the ache in my shoulder I reached up and brushed her tears away.

"It's alright. Doesn't hurt that bad anyways." I smiled and she looked relieved but still skeptical.

"We are still going to the hospital." She scolded and I groaned.

I laid on the floor as she bustled around the house, cleaning up the mess we made. When she finished, she slung my arm over her shoulders and she supported me to the car. Step by step we made it to the car door. She owned a BWM and I remember how she pulled open the door with shaky hands. As she crouched down to help me into the seat, I bumped my head on the edge of the roof. I grunted and we froze, staring at each other. Her eyes filled with worry once again.

Suddenly I burst out laughing. I rubbed my forehead and continued to laugh wildly. Soon she joined in. We must have looked like a pair of fools on the driveway. We were both out of breath. I was halfway in the passenger seat with a bleeding shoulder and a bright red forehead. She was standing outside the car, her blonde hair sticking out like crazy. And we were both laughing.

But all was forgiven.

Because we always came back to each other.

Suddenly, my ears picked up the silent shuffle of feet. I craned my neck to see through the bars and my jaw dropped when the familiar pink hair appeared.

Cammie had come back again.

I gaped at her. Why in the world would she come back? I continued to stare at her in shock as she took a seat against the wall across from the bars. I tried to get a good look at her face to see if she was angry or sad. I just wanted to know what she was thinking. But Cammie paid me no heed. Her pink hair fell in waves and covered her face. She took out a small device which I recognized as a brand new iPod. She plugged in white beats headphones and closed her eyes.

We stayed like that for a while. Me just staring in surprise and confusion. Her just sitting there listening to her music. I turned back around to face my own wall. She wasn't worth wasting time over. Cammie was clearly messed up in the end. The entire hour, I refused to look at her. Eventually, the bell rang for the second time, signaling that visiting hours were over. I heard Cammie get up and walk out. I didn't turn around.