Never Lose Hope

Chapter Thirteen

“He won’t convert for a girl like me.” I say. “Well, this chat was nice, but I’m getting really sleepy. Goodnight Jihad.” I say giving him a short hug before crutching my way back to my room. I almost lose my balance on one of the steps and right before I fall back someone grabs onto me. Jihad helps me the rest of the way to my room and I thank him once he walks me to the bed. He places my crutches against the wall by my bed. He turns off the light on the way out, and I snuggle into my blanket trying to get comfortable.

~*~

“Sara, wake up.” I hear in my ears. “You’re going to be late to school if you don’t wake up in the next two minutes.” I open my eyes to see Jihad there shaking my shoulders. “You up? Good, go get dressed. I’m giving you five minutes before we have to leave. Everyone’s downstairs waiting for you.” He walks out letting me get dressed.

            When I get downstairs, my mother hands me a bagel. “Are you sure you want to go in today habibti? You don’t have to go to school if you don’t want to.” She says looking at me with a  hand on my shoulder. “Neither do you Tamara, if you girls want to take the day off I’m sure the school won’t mind.”

            “Mama, I already missed two weeks of school because of the accident, I can’t miss any more days.” I tell her going into my closet to pick out a random outfit. I put on my baggy sweats, and I regular t-shirt and follow Jihad to the car. I guess Troy and Kevin are coming since they’re both here. “Shot gun.” I yell going up to the passenger’s door. I guess nobody cares since they all slide into the back seat. I place my backpack on my lap and place my bad leg on the dashboard.

            “Sara, we’re here.” Troy says calmly opening the passenger door. I continue to stare off in front of me ignoring him. “Sara, are you okay?”

            “I can’t go in there.” I whisper thinking of Amo Hamada. “How can I, the day after I find out something really bad.” I look away from him before letting the tear fall. I wipe at it angrily. I hate crying in front of people. I find it totally embarrassing, and here I am crying in front of Troy, the one rumored to like me. If it was any other day I would be laughing under the circumstances, but not today. Today I just want to sit in bed and cry over the death of one of the closest uncles, I ever had. “Why are you crying?” He asks.

            “How am I going to step into the school and not cry in front of anyone? I know myself. I just can’t hold in my feelings anymore. I hate that I had to leave him. How could we not have gotten the call beforehand? I would have flown out and went to the funeral. It’s not fair that they treat me like a little girl all the time, nobody knew that it would affect me. But it does more than anything, I was the reason that he opened up the camp in the first place. He was there since day one. Where was I when he needed me? Living up the American dream, that’s what. And now I can’t get him back.” I start to cry even harder and I could tell that Troy is shocked because he only takes my hand in his.

            “It gets easier as times goes by, you’ll have it easier than most people.”

            “How do you know?” I ask wiping at my tears.

            “I could tell you that for a fact. I lost my father last year, my father, the one person who I looked up to. The person I wanted to be when I grew up was my father. One day he’s there, one day he’s gone for good.” He tells me and I look at him surprised. “It wasn’t a heart attack or a sickness. In fact it wasn’t even a car accident. You want to know what happened?” He asks. I don’t do or say anything and he continues.

            “He got shot. A shot straight to his heart. He died instantly. He wasn’t a bad guy at all. They never even caught the person that shot him. Turned out they were trying to get someone else but instead got my father.”

            “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I say covering my mouth with my hands to muffle the gasp that I let out.

            “You don’t have to apologize. The reason I’m telling you this is because I know firsthand what it’s like to lose someone close to you. But I could also tell you that it does get easier. It’s been a little more than a year ago. I think about him a lot. But I know he’s in a better place. It will get better for you. I could promise you that.” He says wiping at my dry eyes, which surprise me because he’s never touched me like this before, so I just take his hand and remove it gently. “Sorry, I forgot.” He says.

            “You don’t need to apologize to me, I just don’t want to give you the wrong impression of me.” I say looking down at my feet.

            “Let’s wait until the late bell rings. So that way you don’t have to walk with so many people in the halls. I’m sure the teacher will understand.” He says grabbing my hand.

            “Are you guys coming?” Jihad says to us as he opens the school doors.

            “I’m just going to walk her to class once the hall clears out.” Troy says and Jihad just nods his head understanding.