Charlie's gaze drops when Finn catches him looking. His cheeks heat, palms sweat. He's been caught, and he's not sure what happens next. Charlie has spent a worrying time watching Finn, for reasons unbeknownst to even himself. It's not purposeful, it's more that Charlie zones out, and when his reverie ends he finds Finn in front of him and then he can't look away. Charlie blames it on intrigue; Finn is just so different from everyone else in this town. He's confident, a leader. He's the only person Charlie knows who's happy to announce to the world that he likes guys, is happy if everyone knows.
That's the whole reason Finn's not allowed round anymore. Except on nights like this, nights when Charlie's dad is out of town and Matthew throws parties. Nights that Charlie isn't usually a part of.
He is tonight, and he wants to make the most of it. He's just not sure how.
"Hey Charlie!" Finn calls his name.
Charlie feels as if his whole body stands on edge. He's not sure how respond. Perhaps Finn's going to call him out in front of everyone.
"Yeah?" Charlie's voice is weak.
"Come dance," Finn's is strong.
At first Charlie feels the reluctance pulling him back. The nervousness telling him to say no. And then Charlie registers Finn's friendly smile, the daring glint in his eyes and Charlie thinks fuck it.
Charlie has never been to a party like this before, his are usually composed of soft drinks and fruit juice, sandwiches cut into little triangles and sausage rolls, terrible top forty hits playing over crackly speakers. They're never like this, there's never people clutching bottles of beer, never a thumping bass beat quaking the ground beneath him. There's never a boy holding a hand out towards him, easy smile tugging at his features. Charlie never feels breathless.
The question is how to dance at a party like this; the solution seems to be to copy everyone else. Repetitive jumps up and down, fists pumping into the air, sweaty bodies pressed closed together.
Finn offers an encouraging smile, a slightly patronising thumbs up.
For the first time tonight Charlie feels like he belongs at this party, feels like he's someone else. He returns Finn's smile. The smile doesn't quite seem to fit his face right, but he tries it on, like it's a new item of clothing.
The music surrounds them and Charlie is starting to understand it. Is starting to learn why people dance like this at parties like this. Is starting to understand how it makes them feel so awake, makes the blood zip through their veins and their heartbeat sing, marching in time to the beat beneath them. Charlie is dancing and he's starting to feel like he never wants to stop. He's lost in a daze, and the only thing anchoring him is Finn's shoulder pressed against his.
Somewhere in the hoard of bodies dancing, Finn's hand slips into Charlie's.
At first Charlie feels like he should pull away, that's what anybody else would do. But Charlie quite likes the reassuring way that Finn's fingers are threaded with is. The way that their bodies are connected in the most innocent of ways. Charlie quite likes feeling like Finn doesn't want him to leave.
Charlie's eyebrows raise slightly when his gaze meets Finn's, a question without words. Finn offers no explanation, his smile simply grows a little wider, the glint in his eyes becomes a little more daring. Challenging Charlie to let go.
Charlie always loves a challenge.
The two of them are dancing. They're surrounded by people, their hands hidden. Charlie is glad, he doesn't want to know what everyone would say.
Finn's just one boy in a group of what seems like hundreds but Charlie notices everything he does. Every jump, every breath. Everyone else is fading into the background, fading into insignificance and Charlie has no idea why.
