Love & Danger

PART 1: something

"SOMETHINGS-
Feel my pleasure
Feel my pain
My only desires
For my escapade
I wanted it all
I took it all
My facade is my only face that I take
I took it done from all above
I rained on everybody I loved
Something that can't be taken away
Somethings can't make me brake
Something that's so strong it breaks you down
Not me
Something that will always turn you around
Not me
Make you think
Not me
About what will happen if u make this something
Happen in reality
Not me
Something is the word That fills in what might happen
What if something like that happens
What is that something your talking about
Something I can't explain
Can't show
Can't feel
Can't express
It's...
It's something
Something that is not there in reality but
.
.
.
...in my mind
Far and deep
In the pits that a dare not to go to
The cage it's locked up in
That something that will haunt me till I'm dead
On the floor
Bleeding out all my blood
My sins
My secrets
My desires
My
My whole entire collage of thoughts
I've thought since the day I was born
December 13
Friday
1998
The day my demon side was never found
The day the 'Angel' as they said
Was born
Me myself and no not I
Her
That deep dark side
That something I've tried to hide
That something that comes out for only
A tiny second
Her
That side that kills to come out
Her
That side that stops me from breathing
Her
That side that squeezes my heart until it stops pumping the blood I need
Her
The one that clogs my lungs up until their filled with smoke
Her
The one that cuts off my oxygen
Her
The one that try's to kill me
Take a knife
"Slice yourself.
It won't hurt,
It will get better..."
But
Most of all
She tries to make me
Make me
Try to do things I don't want to express in illegal doings
Crimes
What would my conscience say?
Nothing
She would say nothing
Why? You ask?
Because
She is her
They Both absorb me
Inside
And
Out
No, I'm not evil
I'm not a devil
I'm not a demon
Spirit
Reborn spawn of something evil
No,...
I'm just me
Me
Her
She
And
Myself
All in one..."

I wrote this poem because everything in my life was being brought to light by the truth, the horrible dark truth. Well I didn't Introduce myself how rude,
my name is Jazmyne Weller
I live in California in a nice large condo with my best friend Lila tiller.
I work at a photography agency hoping to achieve to get into a business of my own when I'm really successful.
My birthd- well it's up there but anyway,
Is December 13, 1998
I'm 21 years old
My parents...no where to be found. They disappeared ever since I was a little baby, only 6 months old, left me with my grandma and grandpa. Ever since 7th grade year I promised to find where they went, why, or what happened, maybe even a who but, I'm going to find out and promised that to my 13 year old self i promised.

My life was well and normal a few years back until he walked in it and made it more difficult than it already was. He made this all happen but, I can't just blame him like that. He loved me and I loved him. We couldn't stay away, I didn't want him to stay away. Luca Moretti, God that names brings me back but, let's go back to get caught up.

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Hey, first story I'm writing, I could use some advice so... Help a fellow wattpadder out!
Bye~N.e.a