I want to protect you \\ Louis Tomlinson

01

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'My name is Mica, Mica Williams, I'm 16 years old and grew up and live in Doncaster, England. My parents divorced because my dad blamed my mom for cheating. Which I have no idea where he would even create an idea. I wish I could yell at him and tell him how stupid he really is, my mom was the best thing any kid could wish for. She is extremely beautiful, smart, very loyal, and would never do such to my father. I would tell him but now days he's nowhere near conscious enough to understand.' The girl began to write on the fresh page of a journal that she hid underneath her mattress. She released a little breath, a piece of her blonde hair fell into view below. Mica dropped her pencil and pulled all of her hair onto on side of her head.

‘I still remember my 7th birthday, my mother let me invite some of my friends for a birthday party, I wasn't very well liked in school so of course, I couldn't bring real friends over I only could invite Mr. Snuggles, my stuffed bunny, Mrs. Jumps, my giant stuffed kangaroo, and Michael, my older brother.

"Bubby, will you come to my birthday party?" I had asked Michael, he was always my only best friend. I loved him so much. At the time he was at the age of 15.

"Of course," he spoke soft while picking my up, “when is this special event, princess?"

"My birthday of course, silly," I smiled and pecked his cheek.

"Then I, will absolutely be there."

My mother came from behind and picked me up from Michael's arms.

"Come along sweetie, let’s go pick out some decorations," I reached back for my brother.

"Mikey, carry me." I crossed my arms and put a pouty face on until she switched me back.

I got all princess and pink decorations, it did nothing but make Mikey smile. Afterwards we went out for ice cream and in attempt to eat it, I smeared it all over my clothing and my face by accident and my mom just had to take a picture of me. I smiled and kissed Michael's cheek causing chocolate marks on his face in the shape of my little lips.

I still have that picture actually, hanging on my wall which keeps most of the memory in my mind. I never see Michael anymore he lives with my mother in Bradford, probably moved out by now. I still have his number just in case, I'm too scared that if I called it he would disown me if he seen me or knew what I went through since he had left.

Now days my father drinks, I'm not just talking about a bottle a week, I mean a bottle every night sometimes more and he sends me out to get them instead of getting off his lazy ass himself. It gets worse too, my father abuses me, he hits me, slaps me and once he raped me. He fucking raped his own daughter, and now, now I'm used as his slave.

Well, is slave really the right word? I'm not sure to be completely honest. I just know it’s not normal, I can't blame him though, and I would hit me too. I used to sneak some of his alcohol into my room, I would only take a gulp a night, any more and I would begin to feel nauseous.

I still have trouble believing my reality, as soon as I get home the first thing out of my dad’s mouth is a "here" and he hands me a twenty.

Tonight was the usual "Go get me some more drinks." But this time he belched causing a terrible odor to follow. I wrinkled my nose at the stench. He's completely and utterly disgusting. Every day I get closer and closer to calling Michael, well not really closer, I know I would never have the guts too. It just sounds better and better. Maybe he could save me from the monster of a father. Somebody, maybe, please do.

As if that would happen though, if I ever were to call Mikey I would just get attached and become even more hopeless.'

 X

It gets cold outside after every rain fall here, I like to walk down the street stepping in as many big puddles as possible, one step being a little harder and splashing up my sleeved sweatshirt.

"Okay," I murmured, "no more puddles for me." The water touched my arm sending a shiver down my spine. I sped up getting closer and closer to the store, I hoped Johnny was working again. He understood my troubles, he would tell me but who knew how true that was, and helped me through a lot but there was once he got caught with selling alcohol to a minor and I haven't seen him again since.

"Here we go again," I sighed to myself and pulled the door open, a silver little bell hanging above the door rang as i entered. The room was musty with alcohol and had the slightest hint of vanilla. As if they tried to use an air freshener to block out the scent, well that obviously failed guys, it’s that kind of store. On the counter sat a bell with a sign above it reading 'tap for service' if you say so. I hesitated but i tapped the top of the bell lightly causing a soft echoing ding. I patiently waited i went back to detecting as many smells as i possibly could with my nose, vanilla, alcohol, wood, grease? Why would there be that smell in here? Eh, maybe they use it for the doors?

Jolted from my thoughts was the voice of an innocent looking boy, about 17 maybe asking me a question. I only heard a muffled voice as i was lost in his eyes, they were a beautiful color blue. There were specks inside of them and they has the shape of the lights inside them. I suddenly forgot about all my problems and felt safe. Stupid girl, that's cliché.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you alright?" He asked looking up and down my face.

"Yes, um, sorry," I created an excuse, "you just remind me of somebody."

"Okay, well what can I get you?"

"Anything, I don't care really, it’s just for my dad." I hoped he wouldn't get mad at me for not getting his brand that he so "needed"

"Ah, okay. I’ll give you this," he pulled out a case of 12, "it's supposedly the best in town. Granted, it’s probably not what you're looking for, it just came it."

"Thanks, anything'll work," I said quietly and paid.

"My shift is about over, can I take you home? It's getting late." I wanted to roll my eyes at him.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

“Let me get a few things first, uh?"

"Mica, Mica Williams, and you are?" I extended a hand which was soon gratefully accepted.

"Louis, Louis Tomlinson. I really like that name, it’s beautiful. I have yet to meet someone with that name, actually."

He released my hand after a while and grabbed his coat, "Here, after you." The door pulled open in front of me.

"Oh thank you Lou," I paused,” Lou, Lou, is it alright if I call you that?"

He draped his coat over my shoulders "Sure thing, love."

Love? Wow, that’s new. What did i do, to deserve the nickname? Maybe things will get better after all. I mean, a Don caster girl can only dream, right? No, that’s a stupid wish.

xxx

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