Forbidden (Punk Luke Hemmings)

fifty six

I wasn't sure quite how to feel, or how exactly I did feel. All I knew was that, today was the day I had been waiting my entire life for. Sounds silly, right? How did I know I loved Daniella and wanted to marry her before I even met her, right?

Well, I guess I didn't. But what I do know, is that the entirety of my life before her, was so empty, so gloomy and dull. I'd always felt something missing from within me. Like this gigantic hole in the middle of my heart, as ridiculous as it sounds. I always felt so incomplete, like the glass was half empty, rather than half full.

I was always half empty, waiting for something, or someone, to come and fill the massive void in my chest.

Always surrounded by nothing but darkness, it's all I ever really knew. I saw glimpses of light here and there, but never enough. I never saw enough light to allow me to climb out of the grave I'd been digging for myself. I never saw enough light to allow me to grab onto a hand that'd pull me out, if there was one at all.

Then this one day, I saw an extremely attractive girl at a party. Back then, I liked to think I didn't care about feelings. I liked to think that love was a myth, that no one could ever want to be around, or with you so long, so often. Especially with myself. I believed with every inch of me that I was the most unloveable human being out there, and that I was incapable of being loved. Thus why I began to think that love wasn't real. If I couldn't be loved, no one could. That's exactly how selfish I was, back then.

I approached a beautiful girl in a non beautiful way, which to this day I regret, although she tells me not to. I was an utter jerk, and she knew it too — she wouldn't stand for it, like many other girls would, simply because I was "all that" back then. I hate thinking of it. The way I could manipulate and use girls, simply because I was considered attractive back then. But this girl, she was different. She couldn't give a damn who I was, or how I looked. She wouldn't stand for the way I approached her, and she made it clear. It made her that much more appealing to me at the time, and I took it as a challenge of some sort. I convinced her, somehow, into going on a date with me.

That night, God, that night.

I had never felt like that in my life. I had shut off the part of me with feelings and emotions for so long, and somehow, someway, that girl, got me to open up completely. Something inside me snapped, and everything I had held inside just came pouring out. I couldn't stop it even if I had tried. I was so exposed, so vulnerable, and she didn't even dare take advantage. No, she didn't. Instead, she held me in her arms, which to this day feel like home, while I cried my eyes out.

I opened up to a girl I barely knew, but somehow I felt I could trust. I don't know why, I don't know what it was about her, but I know it was something.

I poured my everything out to her. All the bad, all the good.

I placed my vigorously beating heart into her shaking hands, but she didn't dare let go. She held on tightly, and in exchange, she gave me her own heart.

There was a time when our hands slipped, and things got fucking messy, and damn painful, but we healed together. We healed each other. Our hearts may have been wounded, but not broken. Wounds heal. And that's exactly what ours did.

Every bit of pain was worth it, everything we went through, all the highs and all the lows, I wouldn't have traded any of it for the world. Because in the end, every tiny moment in your life, no matter how you view it, is just as significant as the next. Everything in your life makes and shapes you, everything happens for a reason. Every. Single. Thing.

My reason was the best of all.

"Luke man, what time did you wake up?" Ashton said in a tired voice, his eyes looking to the clock that read 6:00am.