Strange Love (Brendan Murray)

tsunami like waves of rage

Brendan's pov:

I slammed the door shut with such force that I'm surprised it's still on its hinges.

Every drop of blood in my body was boiling with anger. They had no right to stick their noses in my business like that. They're like a bunch of teenage girls hunting the juiciest piece of gossip they can catch. What's juicer then that I can't even keep the most basic, innocent girl on earth let alone that she thinks so little of me that she goes around snogging random guys right on front of me. I mean how fucking stupid must you be to let someone do that to you and still miss them when you walk away.

Why's everyone only interested in my love life when it's falling apart? Two years of dating her and I often wondered if any of them even knew her name. None of them ever gave a crap when I talked about her. They always had better things to discuss. Like hours of hearing about the trashy blonde who Dayl met last night, who he swears is a gift from god yet he never even got her name. Or how much Cian misses his ex. "She's the only person who ever loved me" he'd moan on for hours. As if he never realised that she cheated on him every night before fleeing to America when he confessed his eternal love for her. But as always they're more important to listen to then I am. You know, it'd be more painful if I wasn't used to it.

It does hurt though, sometimes. It comes in tsunami like waves of rage that when they pass leave me lying here surrounded by everything I've destroyed.

So there I lay on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor surrounded by everything I threw around the room. There's no anger left. Just small sobs pouring out, and little drops of blood dripping from the hand that punched the wall.

"Bren, are you alright?" I Dean asks as he crouched down beside me. I flinched as he patted my back.

"Bren please talk to me" He says in a quiet, calm voice.

"Just leave me alone" I spit out through gritted teeth. He slowly backs away. I hear his footsteps as he leave the room but he mumbles something to a person outside. There was no evidence that either of them will be leaving.

I scramble to my feet to be met with my reflection in the mirror. My hair wild, my eyes red and puffy, and my lip still quivering. Why do emotions overrule my body like this?

I splash some water over my face to whip away the tear stains before bracing myself to walk out of the bathroom. I take a deep breath and push through the door. Josh and Dean's heads snap up as I walk past them to the kitchen, they subtly follow behind me.

I fill the kettle and take a mug from the cupboard to make a cup of tea. It feels hard to breath with the level of tension in the room. It's like every inch of movement I make is analysed by Dean, and josh, well I bet he's still trying to comprehend why he's still here.

"Is everything ok?" Josh asks sympathetically. I just nod back at him.

"Brendan, you know you can talk to us about anything, we're like brothers right?" Dean adds in that patronizing tone of his.

"I'm fine" I snap slamming the mug down onto the countertop.

A hushed gasp of shock escapes Josh's mouth as the pieces of the broken mug hit the ground. Dean places his hand on my shoulder but I instantly shrug it off and sprint to my bedroom; falling face down on my bed.

There's no tears left to pour out, I just lay there sighing to myself.

The door creaks open and I heard the shuffled footsteps across the room before the clinking of glass beside me. I look up to see Josh placing a mug of tea and a sandwich on the bedside locker before he hurries off. I sit up fully to take a sip of tea and Josh peaks his head back in the door, this time carrying the first aid kit from the bathroom.

He sat down next to me and warily took my hand. With some cotton, he dabbed the cut with disinfectant.

"I'm sorry it'll only sting for a moment" He whispered as I winced in pain. He seemed to be walking on eggshells, like he was terrified of upsetting me again.

"Dean didn't mean to annoy you. He was just trying to help" He says concentrating on wrapping the bandage around my knuckles.

"I know" I sighed. I do, I know Dean means the best, he's only trying to keeps us all together and focused on the job. I feel guilty for snapping at him.