My GF Is So Panget (Various Faces of Liars)

Chapter 57: No More Eclipse

But fate is in nobody's hands. Sinong makakapagsabing ang maling akala ko ay tama pala? Noong una, akala ko hindi na  kami para sa isa't isa. Sumunod, nagkaroon kami ng pag-asa na kami pa rin pala ang para sa isa't isa. Pagkatapos, ngayon, balik na naman ako sa una: Hindi talaga kami para sa isa't isa.

Kanina pa akong pabalik-balik sa thought na 'to. Enough na Sep. Nope. Just let it be, Sep. Okay. I'm talking to myself again. Noon, I was denial. This time, I will deny nothing. If it hurts, then it hurts. If I can't still forget, then I can't. I will just let fate or time or whatever to help me heal myself. Tutal naman everything that is happening is ruled by fate. It's just us, human, who manipulate it with deception, in spite of the fact that fate is more powerful--with his best weapon in hand: The truth.

Since I found out that Dave and Maggie are together, hindi na rin natapos ang pag-iyak at pag-iisip ko, until I realized that I'm not the one who's really offended in the picture. Ako ang tunay na panggulo kina Dave and Maggie. They were together na before I came back.

Every time I think of my cousin, Maggie, I can only think of good memories. She is my most beloved cousin--so am I to her--I know. Hence, I realized she lied to me because she wanted to sacrifice or give way. Like what she's always doing when we were kids pa. Lahat ng magustuhan ko, binibigay niya. Lahat ng hindi ko kaya, ginagawa niya para sa akin. This time, ako naman. Ako naman ang magpaparamdam sa kanya nun.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. Tinatawag na ako ni yaya dahil naka-ready na ang car na sasakyan ko papunta ng hospital. I'm going to visit Dave.

On my way to the hospital, it's still the same thought I am bearing. I recall the last time we talked on a lunch date. He persistently invited me so we can have a talk and make clear things out, since the day he disclosed to me his relationship with Maggie.

That moment, I saw in his eyes that I am no longer his moon. That was so painful: Seeing him in love with someone else. But the fact that he showed me bravery and sincerity on telling me everything was enough to surrender something that's not for me.

I remember he said, "It's true that I got confused... You are my first love. You are very attractive... You're like a 5-star dish served in my table against an ordinary dish served with something-I-do-not-know. But all of a sudden, I realized who my heart really choose. Sep, to be honest, the moment I had realized it, I thought of telling it to you, but unfortunately I didn't know how to."

It still crumples my chest whenever I remember that moment. It clearly says we're done... done... done...

 

Dave

Gising na ako pero wala pa rin akong lakas na nararamdaman ngayon kaya hindi ko pa magawang imulat ang mga mata ko at bumangon.

Naririnig ko ang boses ni mommy at isa pang boses ng babae, pero hindi ko maintindihan ang pinag-uusapan nila dahil sa sobrang hina ng mga boses nila. Nahinto naman ang bulungan nila nang gumalaw ako at nagtaklob ng unan sa mukha--napansin siguro nilang gising na ako.

Naramdaman ko na lang ang paghawak ni mommy sa balikat ko sabay sabing, "Dave... Anak, aalis muna ako. I'm gonna get some stuff at home, then gonna be back later, okay. Anyway, yaya Elsa's here. She's outside. You eat na rin, okay? And... Dave, Sep's here."

Sep's here. Okay. Wait? Napamulat ako bigla. Buti nakatalukbong ako ng unan sa mukha kaya walang nakakita ng pagkagulat ko. Sino uli 'yung sinabi ni mommy? Si Sep? As in September? God! Anong ginagawa niya dito? Fuck! Of course, dinadalaw ako. But what I mean is, bakit niya ako dinadalaw? Ang hirap na naman nito. Bigla tuloy akong kinabahan.