Harmless Things (Jean Hobbs AU)

Part twenty-five

From: Daniel

The hospital called and said the ward is clean and stuff and we can go see Scarlett, are you coming?

From: Dean

Yeah, I'll meet you there later. 

From: Daniel

Okay :) How's it going with Jack?

From: Dean

Perfect :)

From: Daniel

Get a room! 

From: Dean

Already have one ;)

From: Daniel

Gross! Too much information! 

I laughed and threw my phone back down and headed back to the kitchen, running a hand through my hair, unable to stop the stupid smile that slipped its way on my face. I partly still couldn't believe that I had Jack back and now all the heartbreak and tears I went through the past few weeks didn't matter anymore. 

I hugged him from behind like I did the last time we made breakfast together, knowing that I would never take any moment with him for granted ever again. The feeling of having him pressed up against me was irreplaceable, I had never experienced anything quite as amazing as this. 

* * * 

I chewed on my lip, wishing that the nervous butterflies jumping around in me would give it a rest. 

"You don't need to do this, you know? You can go back home and I can find my way from here," I told Jack who was walking beside me. 

"No, we're going and that's the end of it. Now will you stop worrying? It's going to be fine,” he smiled at me reassuringly but I could only force a one-sided one back, being careful not to stretch the sleeves of the hoodie I was wearing too much by pulling the ends over my hands. 

Almost everything I was wearing wasn't mine. I had borrowed some of Jack's clothes since mine were still a little damp from the rain. It was a little weird at first, a little alien, but I quickly grew to love wearing his things because I now smelled of him and it felt like he was constantly hugging me, even though my hands were tucked away in pockets and there was a bit of a gap between us. 

I had asked Jack if he wanted to come to the hospital with me to which he agreed to, seemingly without a second thought. I had the idea to reintroduce Jack to my family as my boyfriend, but now the thought of it made me feel sick. 

"Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"They- well, my mum doesn't know that I'm, erm..." 

"Gay?" 

"Yeah..." I breathed, going back to chewing my lip as it was the only thing that seemed to be helping right now. 

"It's all going to be fine, I promise. If your mum is nothing like my parents she'll be totally cool with it," I nodded, but my stomach wouldn't stop turning and when I freed one of my hands to fix my fringe, I found it was shaking. 

"Don't leave me," I blurted out as we walked through the hospital car park, my head beginning to spin. 

"I won't, I'm here to support you," he replied, and I felt safer when he took hold of my clammy hand even though my legs were turning into jelly, making me wonder if it was obvious and if I was walking funny. 

I checked my reflection in windows as we made our way to the children's ward, and surprisingly found I was walking perfectly fine. I could only hope I got same sense of relief when I came out, but I was shaking too much to even be able to walk up the stairs, so Jack pulled me to the side. 

"Breathe, Dean, it's going to be okay. Stop thinking about it, you're stressing yourself out," he wrapped his arms around me. "You don't need to tell her if you're ready, wait it out." 

"No, I'll do it today," I focused on my breathing, lazily staring at people who walked past. 

One of the very few things I liked about hospitals was that everyone was too wrapped up in their own business to care about anyone else's. I suppose at the same time, it wasn't as if anyone had a chance to. I rarely saw anyone twice except from staff, but all the patients and visitors changed so frequently. I liked constant fresh set of people, it meant no one knew me or Scarlett's story, but somehow they all gave us that look of pity and curious stare as they walked past Scarlett's side room. 

"Okay, I'm ready." 

"You sure?" Jack asked, loosening his hold on me slightly. 

"Yeah, let's just get it over and done with," I took his hand again and we went up the stairs I had learned so much about, the 6th step had a crack through the laminate covering and the 8th creaked if you stepped on the left side, the 10th had two pieces of chewing gum stuck on it and if you knew better, you'd know not to hold onto the bannister unless you had plans to use antibacterial hand gel after. 

I smiled weakly at the nurses I recognised when we got to the ward, dropping Jack's hand and bracing myself for the worst as I opened the door to Scarlett's room. 

"You came!" She cried, throwing out her outstretched arms for a hug.  

"Of course I did!" I let it last a little bit longer to make up for not being able to see her yesterday and smiled at Dan and our mother when I let go. I retreated back to Jack, trying my best to hide my shaking hands and took a deep breath. "I- I want to reintroduce you to someone," I gestured to Jack. "This is Jack, m-my b-boyfriend," the sudden silence was suffocating and my gaze fell to the floor as I became too scared to look at anyone. 

"What, so you both love each other?" Scarlett asked. I could picture a confused look on her face, but before I could even begin to think of an answer, Jack spoke for us. 

"Yeah, it does. I love him, and he feels the same about me, or at least, I hope so," he chuckled. He took my hand and squeezed it gently. "Dean?" I looked up at Scarlett and I knew that by this point my cheeks were flushing ruby red. 

"Y-y-yeah," I stuttered, beginning to feel stronger by the minute because I knew Jack was there with me. There was no way I could've done this alone. 

"That's... lovely," came the calm voice of my mother and when I hesitantly looked over to her, she was smiling. Relief washed through me leaving me exhausted again, and it felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 

"Come sit next to me Jack!" Scarlett pointed to the chair next to her bed and used this to escape so I could get a moment to myself. 

"I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a second," I squeezed Jack's hand again and left the room, going to the men's toilets. 

It was unusually quiet for this time of day, there was a queue of only one man but I walked straight over to the sinks, turning on the tap and cupping my hands underneath, splashing the cold water on my face. It instantly made me more alert, and for what felt like the first time in my life, I started counting the list of the positives in my life. And maybe, for once, things were looking up. 

* * *

"What's wrong?" I asked my mum when I got back to the room but she shook her head and smiled. 

"Nothing's wrong, I just came out here to tell you I'm so proud of you, for everything. I know this can't be easy on you and I'm sorry I'm such a terrible mother, but you've proved to me and yourself that your father was wrong about everything he said all those years ago," I saw her eyes start to water but she just smiled. "And thank you, for trusting me about Jack too, he's quite the charmer."

I turned my head so I could see through the window of Scarlett's room. She was laughing at what Jack was saying and he looked totally at ease, like the whole talking to your boyfriend's sick sister thing was a sixth sense and I couldn't have felt prouder of him. 

"Yeah, yeah he is."