Nine

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by Bcontesa618

by Bcontesa618

"Your parents and probably mine too are on the way baby.", Conner reminds me and my breathing becomes a bit labored at the thought of having to explain my actions to them. "Please baby, calm down okay. You don't have to say a single word to anyone right now. Just concentrate on getting better okay. That's all that matters right now."

I softly whisper, "How can you be so calm?" "Because I love you and I sure as hell will not allow anyone to distress you in anyway right now. All I care about is YOU getting better so you can finally come home."

There are so many questions bouncing around in my head. What is going to happen? What happened to his girlfriend? How far did he get with Deirdre that awful night? God I can barely bring myself to think about that without my heart hurting. I must have been rubbing my chest because he says, "Hey are you okay? Are you in pain?"

Before I can try to answer him my parents followed by Conner's come rushing into the room. I am now surrounded by four sets of flowery smelling arms as both my mom and Conner's surround me in a mommy group hug. They are both crying and hurling questions at me and I feel myself become overwhelmed.

I hear a whistle in the air and watch as my dad effectively calms these two women down and says, "I need everyone to go wait outside. I need to talk to my son alone." "No!" My dad turns a shocked looking face to Conner who immediately attaches himself to my side like a body guard. "This is not open for debate Conner!" "I agree it's not since no force on this earth will make me move from his side."

I hear Conner's dad say in disbelief to him, "Conner what the hell is wrong with you? What are you doing?" "What am I doing? I am protecting what is mine." He looks over at my dad and says, "He can barely speak so what are you going to do, argue with him knowing it would be a pretty one sided conversation well fuck that! I'm staying right here."

Dad looks at Conner and says, "Who the hell do you think you are?" "I think, you know what NO. I know that I am the man that loves your son more than my own life and I'll be damned before he spends another moment suffering in any form of pain."

I slip my hand into his as my soul sings with joy at his declaration as I watch my dad wrap him in a big bear hug. He looks towards the both of us with a happy face and says, "Good to know son. Good to know! I have no intention of upsetting my son in any way Conner but I really just need to have a simple conversation with him that might be easier to have just between the two of us."

Conner looks down at me and I hope my face shows him that it is okay. Before he leaves, he helps me get more comfortable and even fluffs my pillows. I have to laugh a little because this Conner is going to take some getting used to.

After everyone departs the room, my dad sits down next to me laughing a little. "That one was already over protective when you were just friends. I don't even want to know how much worse he will be now that he has finally laid claim to you." "How?", I whisper softly. "Hey, I don't want you trying to talk to much okay. Contrary to popular opinion, I am not hear to argue."

My dad takes my hand into his and I can't see his face as his head is bent down but I can feel the start of tear drops hit our hands. "Dad?", I question softly. "Am I a good father?" I immediately nod my head yes. His tear filled gaze falls upon my face and I begin to weep silently as he asks, "Then why did you not trust me enough to come to me before you made the decision to end not just my life but the lives of those that love you as much as I do?"

I try to blink my tears away. "I am not asking this to upset you but I need to know why you thought that ending your life was the only answer. Do you realize that in the moment that you died, you were in Conner's arms and from what the EMT told us, his heart literally stopped."

I blinked again in confusion but he forges on. "I know you won't be attempting this again but don't think that I don't know why you did this in the first place and that was not fair to any of us least of all Conner." I remove my hand from my father's and begin to wipe at my eyes.

"I am not saying this to be mean but I just need you to know that no matter what, I am here for you always." As my dad gives me one of his famous bear hugs I softly say, "I'm so sorry dad. Please forgive me." He pulls away from me to look right into my eyes as he says, "There is nothing to forgive. You are the one that will have to forgive yourself for what you almost accomplished. That will take some time but just know that there are people who love you unconditionally and will help see you through this crazy thing called life okay."

I nod my head in ascent gracing him with a smile and then he makes me laugh as he says, "Well we better let in that firecracker man of yours before he comes charging in here ready to kick my ass!" I am pretty sure that could not really happen but the thought is hysterical and that is how he finds me when he does enter the room. The smile Conner graces me with soothes my soul as the rest of my family and I reminisce over everything and nothing.

As Conner plants himself right next to me on my bed and places my injured hand delicately on his lap, for the first time in a very long time, I feel okay.