Looks Don't Explain

Looks Don't Explain - First Time

"I'm so scared that one day you're going to wake up and realize, 'Oh, I don't love him anymore'!"

"Never," Kurt shook his head, tears brimming at his eyes, "I'm always gonna love you."

Blaines body shook with sobs and he covered his face with his hands. Kurt took Blaine into his arms, holding him tight. Kurt pressed kisses into Blaine hair and onto his forehead. Kurts own tears slipped down his cheeks.

"You're gorgeous, Blaine Anderson. Gorgeous," Kurt said.

"I don't feel gorgeous." Blaine said, with a broken voice.

Kurt pulled away from the hug, still holding onto Blaine, to look at him. "Let me show you how gorgeous you are." Kurt cupped Blaines cheeks and kissed him.

Kurt led Blaine to what was once their bedroom. Kurt gently laid Blaine on the bed, then he straddled Blaines lap.  Kurt pressed his lips to Blaines once more, their kisses were slow and soft. They slowly intensified. Mouths we're opening and tongues were sliding against one another.

"Blaine," Kurt pulled away from the kiss, "let me make love to you." Kurt started kissing up and down Blaines neck. Leaving a hickey on the sweet spot on his neck. Soft moans and groans were coming from Blaines mouth.

Kurt did exactly what he had told Blaine he would do, he made love to him. It was slow and gentle and loving. Kurt made sure Blaine would know how beautiful he truly is and how much Kurt loves him. Kurt took care of Blaine, he made sure that Blaine felt safe and loved and gorgeous.

After their love making session Blaine had his head laid over Kurts heart. Blaine listened to the beating heart, the heart that was keeping his fiancée alive. Kurt had tangled his long, slender fingers into Blaines hair.

"I think you should move back in," Kurt said abruptly. Blaine nodded against Kurts chest, Blaine didn't have much to say.

Kurt knew something was wrong with Blaine. Now what that something is, Kurt had no idea. Kurt was in shock that Blaine had been thinking that he would no longer love him.

Blaine rolled away from Kurts chest, his back now facing Kurt. Kurt furrowed his brows, he rolled over and put his arms around his lover.

Blaines body shook with sobs, he was trying not to make noise. Kurt knew that he was crying, just by the way his body was shaking.

"Hey," Kurt turned Blaine over on his back, "why are you crying? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Kurt used his thumb to wipe away Blaines tears.

"No, no you didn't," Blaine sobbed, "I'm just upset. I'm okay."

"Baby, if you're sobbing, you aren't okay," Kurt said.

"No, no. I'm fine."

Blaine got out of the bed and went toward the bathroom. Kurt was tempted to follow him, but waited until he saw the door close. Then Kurt grabbed his robe, as well as Blaines, and followed him. Kurt tried the door, but Blaine had locked it. Then Kurt had heard the shower running.

'This isn't right. Blaine never locks the door, when it's just us and he's in the shower', Kurt thought to himself.

"Blaine," Kurt said softly, his hand on the door "what's going on in your head baby?"

Kurt left Blaine bathrobe hanging on the door handle and went back into the bedroom. Kurt pulled one of Blaines band shirts on, and put his own boxers on. Kurt inhaled the sent of Blaines shirt and started to cry. This wasn't the Blaine he had right now. He didn't know who this Blaine is.

Kurt laid down on the bed waiting for Blaine to come out of the shower. The shower stopped, Kurt heard the bathroom door squeak when it opened, then he heard it shut with a thump. Blaine had opened the bathroom door, then closed it again. Kurt went and peaked at the bathroom door, the bathrobe was out of sight. Kurt expected Blaine to be coming out in a few seconds, but he did not. Five minuets passed and there was no noise coming from the bathroom. Kurt started to walk towards the bathroom, then he heard it. He heard that longing noise come from the bathroom.

It was an awful gagging, retching noise. Kurt immediately ran towards the bathroom and tried the handle. Blaine had locked it.

"Blaine! Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed. "Blaine open the door! Blaine!"

Their was a mixture of sounds, the retching noise and Blaines sobs.

"Blaine Anderson! Open the door!" Kurt knew this would piss off the landlord, but he didn't care, he had to get to Blaine. Kurt backed up a bit, and with all his force, he kicked the bathroom door. It opened, thankfully and Kurt could get to Blaine.

"Blaine," Kurt went to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him. Blaines body fell into Kurts arms. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here, I'm right here,"

Blaine sobbed harder. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Kurt!"

"Shh, I know, I know. It's okay, you're okay," Kurt shushed his fiancée.

Kurt was in disbelief that this was happening. This shouldn't be happening to Blaine, not his Blaine. Not strong, sexy, confident Blaine. Then he remembered, Blaine isn't confident anymore, Blaine doesn't feel strong anymore, Blaine doesn't feel sexy anymore.

"I'm sorry," Blaine panted out.

"I know, I know," Kurt said softly. "Can you stand?" Blaine nodded and Kurt helped him up. Kurt flushed the vomit down the toilet. Blaine brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth out with Listerine, twice.

"Go lay down, sweetheart. I'll be there in just a second," Kurt told Blaine. Blaine nodded and went towards the bedroom.

Kurt sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Damn it, Blaine," Kurt said softly.

Kurt walked toward the bedroom. Blaine had an old Dalton shirt on and sweatpants. Blaine was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall.

"Baby," Kurt walked toward Blaine, Blaine turned his head to face Kurt he knew what was about to happen.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave if that's what you want," Blaine said quietly.

"No, no that's far from what I want," Kurt kneeled down in front of Blaine, taking his hands. "Why did you do that to yourself Blaine?"

"I don't know. It felt like something I needed to do, it felt like it was the right thing to do at the moment. I'm sorry, I felt fat and-," Blaine stopped, "I'm so sorry."

Kurts heart broke when he heard why Blaine made himself throw up. Kurt stood up and wrapped his arms around Blaine.

"Let's lay down and go to sleep." Kurt breathed out. Blaine nodded and laid down. Blaine being the little spoon, because that's just what he needed tonight. Kurt held him close to his chest. Blaines exhaustion caused him to drift off to sleep fairly quickly. Kurt couldn't sleep however, he was too busy with his thoughts.

'Oh, Blaine. What am I going to do with you? How am I going to help you?'