My feet hurt

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I want a magic scarf. So, like if you put it on someone you don't like, the scarf will strangle that person and then no one will no that you are responsible. People will just think that the dead person was clupsy and accidentaly killed themselves C:< 
BUT WHY DOESN'T DOGS EXIST IN REAL LIFE?!? I WANT DOGS TO BE REAL! PLEASE! I AM BORED WITH ALL THESE UNICORNS SO WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE A DOG?! 

I like to put my finger in my eye. I'm awesome, ik.

I AM HUNGRY AND I WANT TO EAT PASTA! 

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