If Nothing...

Steve:A Few Weeks Later...

Applause follows after Fitz's speech. He steps down from the podium and steps back into the small congregation of us.

Each member of the S.H.I.E.L.D team,and each member of the Avengers express their love for Natasha and express how it pains them that she is gone already. She and the child in which she held within herself.

As Tony steps down from the podium-the last of everyone-I place both flags at opposite ends of the casket.

I climb onto the podium,unable to take my eyes from the long black coffin.

I close my eyes tight before I begin speaking,trying to muster the strength to withstand the tears. She wants you to be happy.

I wipe my eyes and take one long deep breath before I begin.

"I think if I didn't come up here to say something about Natasha,I would have done both she and my child a great disservice. I loved Natasha. And I don't use that word lightly. Both of us thought we could simply ignore the evolving feelings we'd knew were growing deep inside of us,but we couldn't. Everyone saw that even when we didn't."There is a bit of laughter."The last words Natasha said to me were live your life. And I think that's what she'd want for all of us. To live our lives despite our grief. The world needs saving. She'd want us to save it. She told me to find someone else to love. Someone else to care about. To continue to fight even though she's gone. I don't think she realized how hard that will be for me. She was my life. And now my life is gone."I close my eyes,feeling another wave of tears preparing to fall from my face."So,does that mean I have too died? Have I died with the woman I so deeply loved? I have. But I can't be gone too long. Knowing Natasha she'll probably kick my ass if I sulk too long."More laughter."The last thing I said to Natasha before she died was I love her. And I meant it. I have never loved someone so much for so long before. Even with her flaws and her damages, she was still the best woman anyone could ask for. She was beautiful. She had that gorgeous red hair everyone envied her for and those green eyes she could lure anyone in with. That voice that was so cunning and with that voice she was sarcastic and funny and she told you what you needed to hear and not what you wanted to. But that's all gone now. And I regret letting her leave. I regret letting myself be so selfish that I pretended her existence no longer mattered to me. But now that she's gone, I realize that nothing else did. She was the only one that gave my life meaning. And now she's gone."I wipe my face, and smile down at her casket."I'll love you forever. Because without you I am nothing. And if nothing else,I am forever yours. I am forever yours my love."

With that,I step down from the podium.

The ceremony concludes with the firing of rifles. Twenty eight for the years she lived. Thirteen for the years of service at S.H.I.E.L.D. And one for the child we lost when we lost her.

The minister has her body lowered into the ground and he takes the white rose I had placed on the top of the casket and picks off each and every petal dropping it down into the ground.

"From ashes to ashes and from dust to dust."The minister speaks.

I sob like a child. I shudder as each escapes my throat. Nothing is capable of mending my pain. Not the kind I feel now.

They place her headstone in the ground, and a small one next to her own symbolizing my child.

"Thank you for coming."The minister says.

Aa the others leave,Peggy steps beside me."Would you like to be alone?"

I nod once.

I watch her leave,and once I am no longer able to see her,I sit down in front of Natasha's headstone and sob.

"I thought I told you to be happy when I died."

I see her. Like she had been when I last seen her. Her hair is long. Her body is curvier. She smiles down at me. She is dressed normally in a pair of old jeans and one of my shirts in which she has tucked into her jeans. Beside her is a small boy with thick blonde curls and bright blue eyes.

"Is that him?"

She nods.

"His name is James. Looks nothing like me. I carry him for nine months and he gives me no credit for doing it."

I smile and stand,walking over to she and James. I wrap her in my arms and kiss her soft sweet lips.

James tugs at my pants.

"Why are you sad daddy?"

I look down at him.

"I'm not."I lie."I'm not sad at all."

Natasha lays her hand on my arm and looks me in my eyes."You made me a promise big guy. I don't wabt you to grieve me ok? There are things you still need to worry about. I'm not one of them anymore. Fight, Steve. Kill Jonas. If you can't, you fight him until your last breaths even if your attempts are feeble,I'll be proud because you tried. Do it for us."She looks down at James who smiles up at her. She ruffles his thick curls. She turns back to me and gives me one last long kiss on the lips."I love you,Steve."

And like that she is gone. She and James.

"I love you to,Natasha."