Sher looked at me with eyes drowning of desire. "Mhmhm."
"Y'know," My index finger pointed within her direction. "I have to say I'm relieved to know that you feel the same way I've felt for awhile now."
Her nose wrinkled, forming a puzzled expression. "What? How come you never said anything? About those feelings?"
"Well..." My shoulders went up and down. "There are certain boundaries you just don't cross, when you fall for someone whom you know is married." (Someone should've told Monte that!😂 LMFAO) I said, reaching for my straw so that I could taste my beverage. "I didn't want to put you in an awkward position, knowing that you're married."
Sherri sighed. "Truthfully, I'm not even sure if Khamar and I will continue on. Hopefully, we won't have to worry about him any longer." She paused, catching her breath. "I just don't know how much more of him I can take."
I was flabbergasted. Sherri had never, not once, mentioned separation to me before. Did Khamar really hurt her that much, that she was considering getting a divorce? "You uh..you thinking of leaving him?"
Her eyes moved to the floor. "Probably. Maybe it's what we need." Heavy breaths fell from her body. "Space, time apart."
I shook my head in an up and down fashion, showing my understanding. Well, at least I tried to understand. Sherri didn't give a complete answer. She was basically unsure. And, that was totally fine, considering the past few, painful months. But, if she was still hoping to be with him, even after all he had done, then I should've been aware. Because, if so, then what exactly were we? Furthermore, I found myself concerned because after that kiss at my house, I was pretty sure things between us had leveled up. And, I surely did not mean friend-wise.
"Are you still in love with him?"
She looked away, quite fast. Almost as if she needed time to think of her answer. "I...I don't know."
—
Sherri
"You have to communicate." Dr. Mulligan informed my husband and I. "You gotta talk this out, express yourselves."
I breathed heavily. "We don't—we haven't."
Ever since Teri asked me about still being in love with Khamar, it had been the only thought resting within my mind.
I knew that I were to always have love for him in my heart. He had been my husband for an abundance of years, just as he was the father to my children. I was supposed to love him. But, continuing to be in love with him, after all he had done? That was where I was torn. How could I be in love with a man, who had hurt me terribly? Who caused me many sleepless nights, tears I never asked for? I had tried forgiving him, I tried letting it go, but something always pulled me back. And, whatever it was that was pulling me back, was he reason why I wanted our marriage to work, why I wanted our family back.
But, I was unexplainably in love with a woman, and I couldn't help it. I loved her more than she probably imagined, and I just wished I could prove that without it being done secretly. My Teri Polo deserved to know just how much I loved her. She was supposed to know. If I could've erase what I had for Khamar and just ended it all, then I would've . But, things took time. Moving on took time.
"Well, do you speak at all, around the kids?" Our therapist questioned.
"I uh..." I chuckled, ironically. "I just said we don't talk. We just haven't communicated like we should. Y'know?" I then placed the palm of my right hand over my forehead.
