Short Stories V.1

Carrot Fraud

The lady rushed down the street, passerby's were pushed out of her way with an incredible force, her eyes were filled with fear unlike anyone had ever felt. She carried an orange suitcase with green handles and was making a beeline towards the largest building in town, C.F. corporation. She bursted through the front door and began to tremble. Security guards ran up to her, "NO ENTRY!" they huffed with greasy smelling breath. They probably had lunch at the burger shop down the street. They had weird tasting burgers but hey, the fries were good. The head of security noticed the commotion and started shouting at his comrades. In pure fear of being fired, they backed off and the women continued her mad dash. She rushed into the elevator, the incredibly slow, fuel efficient, biodegradable, organic, all natural, elevator. She hit the button for the top floor and began to wait. On que, the dreaded elevator music began to play. It sounded like a combination of that music you hear on those humane society commercials that make you feel really bad but you never actually donate anything and some really funky jazz that is really annoying after two minutes. Her boss knew that she hated it. He didn't care. After two minutes in the stupid elevator, the woman began to sob. She had forgotten about her mission whilst thinking about how much she hated her boss. Finally, the elevator got to the top floor, where her boss resided. Her eyes widened as she stepped into what used to be an old western theme room with at least three different water fountains that seemed to multiply on occasion, change location every day, and had the word "HYDRATE," engraved on the wall above them. Instead it was a modern style of room in which every wall was glass and tinted orange. In fact, everything in the room was orange except for her boss who was trembling in his precious swivel chair. "Matilda... what's going in??" Matilda's boss began to sob violently. "Sir, I regret to inform you," Matilda sniffed, "our building appears to have.... Carrot Fraud." Her boss screamed loudly as his lungs could allow him. "Sir! Calm Down!" Matilda screamed back at him. The elevator behind her became cloaked in a bright orange color. "Sir! If we don't leave this building, we will get stuck up here!" Matilda grabbed her boss who grabbed his swivel chair, who grabbed it's ego, and they all ran into the elevator. The swivel chair's ego was particularly large today so they had to squeeze into the small room. Matilda's boss, who was named Arnold by the way, pushed the button for the bottom floor. They all stood there, the swivel chair and it's ego were passionately kissing, which made Arnold and Matilda to become uncomfortable. So they kicked the swivel chair over and it started to whisper arcane swear words of which the like had never reached human eardrums. After a minute of curses, the elevator music began to play. It wasn't the same however, all the words had been replaced with the word "carrot." All the music had been replaced with the word "carrot," too so I guess it was just a lot of the word "carrot," overlapping with itself. Finally the elevator reached the bottom floor, which had became coated in the color orange. Several of the chairs on the floor had become piles of carrots. A security guard screeched, "OH THE HUMANITY," as one of his fellow security guards was engulfed in a pile of carrots that had previously been a large statue of Arnold's grandfather, Cornelius Arthur the fifth. Arnold shrugged as his wish for corn fraud blew out the window. The swivel chair, it's ego, Arnold, and Matilda all escaped unharmed. We dedicate this book to the brave security guards who were drowned in a sea of carrots as the building turned into them all at once. Nowadays, everyone lives a happy life. The swivel chair and it's ego got married and had three children. Arnold and Matilda started a business that would prevent corn fraud and sold all the carrots for a large sum of money that made them national heroes for ending the carrot shortage.