My Life Is [...]

Pain

You know that moment when you see that one person, your awestruck, your pulse speeds up it feels like times stopped as you stare at that one person your in love?

Ya me neither I thought I was in love but all I can do is stare, stare at you. I feel dead like nothing, almost invisible. Your lies fill my head
"Your special to me,"
"I'll never leave you,"
"You matter,"
It all feels like air filled lies, at the time I heard those words it felt like life couldn't get any worse. I was wrong this is much more worse. Before when I would stare at you I felt special I felt like I mattered to somebody. Now I feel like I'm not good enough... I didn't deserve you anyway now did I.

"You do deserve me,"

And then I realize I was lying to myself all along you where never mine to begin with. The worst part being you where my best friends and I'm forced to be happy for you. They know I'm in love with you, yet he/she doesn't care.

I think "Sleeping with Sirens" said it best when they said "I hope Mr.Right puts up with all the bullshit that you say,". What am I to you? If I matter to you then show me. Please I'm dying inside it hurts too much to keep going. You used to talk to me about kisses and pleasure but never once did you show me. Is it all a lie? Are you truly in love with them? Am I not good enough? Do my feelings not matter?