Evil

CHAPTER TEN

"I'm an angel?" Even as I asked that, I was wondering to myself if I actually believed in them. I should...I had thought I was a demon.

Kellan shook his head. "You're a nephilim."

"What's that?"

"Part of your blood is from a messenger, yes. Part of you is human. That's the part that's mine." He spoke with the same force as before.

It stirred inside of me, but I controlled it. I wasn't going to let it out, not when I was finally getting answers. "I'm...how...there's a lot that I don't understand, Kellan."

He nodded, sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I am. I would've..." Then he looked away and bit back whatever he'd been about to say. "I can't lie to you. I—"

"What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head abruptly. "I can't tell you anything more. I don't know anything more."

I was half of a messenger. He was half of a demon. Who the hell were our parents? How did we end up in the same family? Under the same roof? I choked out, "Do Vespar and Gus know?"

"No!" Kellan laughed out, hoarse. "God no. They'd...they can't know. Trust me."

"Why?" Although I was pretty sure I knew why.

"Because they'd kill you. You know that."

I had, but it was painful hearing it. "And you? Why don't you kill me? Why haven't you tried?" I laughed. The sound came out nearly hysterical. "This makes us enemies, doesn't it? Something inside of me wants to kill you. I'm sure your demon wants to do the same to me."

Kellan quieted and watched me. His eyes seemed to pierce me, looking into my soul. It was uncomfortable and I waved a hand. "Stop it. Just...stop it. I can't handle you being inside of me."

"That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure out what to say to you to make it better. I don't know what to say right now."

"You know everything." All my life, Kellan had been our leader. He'd been the strongest. The fastest. The most powerful. The one who always knew what to do, who could handle anything. He couldn't handle this and that said a lot. At the same time, it was like he'd taken a knife to my heart. I felt him stabbing me one, two, three times—like I'd been gutted. "What am I supposed to do with this information? How can I be...Where do I go now?"

Something shifted in him and he glanced to Leah's room. "She's okay?"

"Yeah. She'll be fine now."

"She won't need me here?"

"No, she shouldn't. I made it okay with her. I don't know how, but she'll be fine. She might remember, she might not. She might think of something to justify everything in her mind. I don't know, but she'll be fine. She's at peace now."

I had done that. The messenger inside of me had done that. It felt right, but it felt strange. It also felt like I'd chosen a different side. The line had been drawn between my family and me. With that action I had chosen the other side. Kellan might not admit it, but we were enemies. I felt it in me. A part of me wanted to kill him.

"Let's go somewhere. I'll..." But he didn't know what to say. Kellan looked around, helpless. I saw it all over his face. It was heart wrenching. He had no idea how to make this better and my brother always knew. Then he frowned sharply. "Why did you come here again?"

Where did I start? "Vespar came up to me at school today. He thinks you're angry with him. Then Gus pleaded with me to find you. She's scared that you and Vespar are going to fight, breaking our family up."