Possession (Editing)

Chapter 34

The rest of the car ride was in a painful silence but I ignored it, and once we reached the hospital; all my fucks disappeared, I practically left Eli in the parking lot. All I cared about was Amy.

Once I reached her door, she was eating crackers and sipping on Apple Juice. "Missed me already?" She said with a smirk. I smiled at her and walked to her bed. "Yeah. Just some crazy drama." I muttered. 

"Ooh, update me. What happened?" She asked me. "Andre's dad is my dad." I said with an awkward laugh. 

Amy tossed her crackers on the ground and blinked at me, "What the actual fuck?" She exclaimed. I nodded and pressed my lips together. "Right? It makes everything more fucked up." I tried to wipe my face from the tears trying to escape. "Well, how do you feel about that?" She asks me. I paused and looked at her intently, how did I feel about that? I couldnt explain. "I have no fucks anymore. I dont care about any of this irrelvant shit, it's all bullshit. I didnt have him in my life for 24 years. Why now? I dont need him. I have what I have now. That's all I need." I say with a shrug. 

She smiles at me sadly, "Now you know that's not how you really feel." She says blinking at me. "I know. I know. I just dont know how to feel about it all." I say honestly.

Her brow furrows and she rubs her chin, "Maybe that's a good thing. Personally, to feel immediate emotion is overwhelming. It needs to sink in and rest for awhile in your mind, to even wrap around the fact. I mean- you just found out you were adopted. Then you find out about your mom and now your father all at once. Plus you were just released from the hospital, found out that your 'mom' died, get invaded in your own home. It's all too much. Being numb is saving you. If you really felt it all, you'd drive yourself mad." She explains softly.

Maybe that was true. Actually there was no doubt in my mind that it was true. "I just wish I knew what to feel." I say with a sigh. "Rayleen, you always try to pinpoint a feeling and that's your issue. You're rushing it and end up with more stress than was to be expected. Just let everything fall into place." She suggests to me with soft eyes. I nod and look at my entwined fingers. "You're right. I just need rest. Maybe a vacation." I mumble.

"Exactly. And I'll be released, next week. My aunt wants me in here to ensure that all my head trauma is cleared up or some weird shit like that." Amy says, rolling her eyes. "I'll wait, then you and I can go somewhere. I'll plan a trip." I say, smiling at her. "Please, bless your bitch with a trip to Hawaii!" She exclaims throwing her head back and crossing her eyes, causing me to giggle. "I'll see what I can do. For now. Get rest babe." I say, standing to my feet and leaning to kiss her forehead. "Will do. Also can you tell a nurse to get me some more crackers. Perferbly Ritz. Saltines make my mouth dry." She says grimacing. "Of course Ams." I ensure and turn and slip through the door.

I immedatiely lock eyes with Elliot, who has a mixture of grief, anger and distraught plastered across his face. "Something wrong?" I ask, curiously.

"My father had a heart attack. But you knew that already didnt you?" He says, through grit teeth, his voice shaking.

Oh fuck. I cant say anything. My mouth was glued shut. "You kept this from me? He was right next to your fucking best friend and you didnt say shit?!" He swallowed a lump in his throat, his eyes burning with fury. It was demoralizing. "Your mom told me not to tell you." I whisper, my voice small. His eyes widened and he chuckled, "My mom-Wait- She told you?" He stops and burst into more laughter. His words are almost like venom. I flinched back and felt tears stream down my face slowly. "She wanted to wait until the proper moment. He's alive." I say, trying to lift his spirits, but its far from that. "Then why couldnt you just tell me? You keep secrets from me? You know how big this is? Why wouldnt you? Huh? My father!" He sounded so distraught and broken, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I couldnt. I'm sorry-" He stops me, by holding his hand up. "I dont want to hear it. Let's just...Let's just get out of here." he says, shaking his head and turning on his heels. I put my head down and wipe my eyes, following behind him.