This Isn't a Fairytale, It's Reality.

Part 11

It was now November. The 7th to be exact. It was the first day of freshman year that it had snowed. The roads were getting bad so we had an early dismissal. The announcement came on over the loud speaker during health saying that fourth and fifth period would be cut short and we would leave after that. The entire class started cheering, including Mrs. Hills. I won't see Jason sixth period, but at least I see him this period. And I'll be home later so that's a plus. The bell rang sending us off the fifth period. Mrs. Pappalardo didn't plan on making us do any work so we all just kind of sat there talking. Within the first couple minutes of class my phone vibrated. I looked down at my lap where my phone was resting to see a text from Devon. "Devon Sex God; Jason's in my global class now. Why."  I was in the middle of a conversation so it didn't completely register to me so I just replied with "Ughhh jealous!" Anthony then asked if he could use my phone to take a panorama picture of himself. He made sure the picture cut off half of his face. Not to mention he had such a sly grin on his face. Him & I could not stop laughing. Devon and I walked down to the middle school to be picked up by our parents. It wasn't until then I realized that I'd only be seeing Jason once a day. And after first semester ends, I'll never see him. 

 Throughout some of November, I had begun to open up to Jason. I had told him how I feel fat, ugly, alone, worthless, annoying, and like a waste of space. He obviously didn't understand. He told me "You're insecure and you want attention." I stared at those words, in shock as tears filled my eyes. The longer I stared, the quicker the tears came. Within a couple minutes I was crying so much it was hard just to breathe. I tried to reply to tell him that's not it, but his mind was set. I didn't want to keep talking so I just said "Okay sorry." and stopped replying. Are my problems not real because you don't understand them? "You're insecure and you want attention." What even gives you the right to tell someone that they want attention? "You're insecure and you want attention." My thoughts literally rip me apart, but to you think it's all an act. "You're insecure and you want attention." Yeah I fake feeling like shit to get you to pay attention to me. "You're insecure and you want attention." You got me figured out.