Black Days

JULY 13 

       "SCOUT!!" screamed my heart as I woke up that day.It was one of my last days in the village since few days after we would return to Beirut, to my dear house but at that moment I was only thinking how my first day in the scout would pass,it seemed impossible that anything would ruin this day, but it only seemed so....

       I passed through my friend's house and together we marched toward the scout location."Common' kids sing the anthem , sing it high so the rest of the window glass crash," our couch said it so loud causing adrenalin to move fast through my veins.I was only 9 then and I truly believed that if I sing high the remaining glass of the rusty windows will scatter on the ground but of course it didn't.After, the arranging of groups started and I wasn't put either with my friend nor my brother...but still I was excited for the lessons.Unfortunately we had religion first and after it drawing, my favorite subject,so I had no chance to concentrate on the teacher's words, it seemed that she only moved her lips, not producing any sound since my thoughts were already in the art class.I imagined myself being chosen as the  best painter in the class, being raised on hands, but in no time these thoughts were disturbed.......

          "BOOM!" all the kids attacked the window to see what happened but I was far so I could only see the glass that fell after that hard sound on the floor.After a moment an order about our evacuation was taken so we were all sent home.Back then we were all happy to such an adventure since we didn't realize that black days are awaiting us....

     "Israel air strikes hit different parts of Lebanon and many ppl are said dead" most radios reported this and at that time I understood a real war began.before I used to play war games but now it is serious it is true.

       

 JULY 16 2006

  

          The growling of my stomach woke me up,I tried to persuade myself that I am not afraid but I was too weak against my real feelings." That was close, really close," I said to myself after another bomb hit my village.I was not allowed to leave home but now was my chance since i had to buy bread for food, actually there was almost no food in the region, simply we were in a blockade!When i got out of the house I  directly rushed into the store , but it seems it wasn't my destiny to reach there, just wasn't.As i was half way there, Israeli air forces completed another strike on our village and bombed the store.The scene i saw there was a shock since not only the store was bombed two other living houses were as well.All these houses where few stories high but in few seconds they turned into ground floor trash, around them hungry dogs got mad chewing dead and injured bodies.I was too scared to get close but my curiosity overcame the fear and I started taking new steps toward the ruins and started to see new terrible scenes.What would have happened to you if you were in my place, if you had seen a dead girl 5 years old that used to smile and play next to your house and now you stare at her dead,not breathing, not smiling,not playing.....it was not real i thought it is a nightmare,it is not real,not real,i can't believe it but it was real,it was something inhumane, it was war,a real war.Maybe in the entire world no one had seen such a war since no hard wars occurred in the 21th century,specially no wars with chemical weapons.We were suffering, our brothers and sisters dying and the whole world was watching it,as if it was a horror movie,only ones that survived it ,like me , can tell the real story. 

           

       July 20 2006

                Many people had already left the south region heading north and many of them lost their lives in such a risk,but it seems today was our turn,my friends left few days ago and now i was left almost alone,so finally our family decided to head north or at least arrive to Beirut.We got all our stuff ready and headed to my aunties car.It was a mercs of the 90s and about 11 people were getting into it.I only tried to believe that such an old car can handle us but it did.Before heading to it i said goodbye to my other aunt and grandma,i tried to stop my tears from getting free the same way did both my aunt and grandma it was a hard moment,we were leaving each other and it may have been even the last time we see them,since we may die on the road and they may stay here and die since it was almost the last chance of getting out of the region.As the car passed the half broken bridge and headed toward the steep hill it got stuck.Above us enemy airplanes were flying and making strikes on different villages.I panicked and started to cry we all sat above each other and all of us were half dead with fear but to our luck it magically went on again.When we were in Saida ,the capital of south,we became face to face  with the Israeli Marine forces, we were terrified and in front of us like about 500 meters away a car without any flag was bombed,we had lots of kids they were all crying and what made them cry more is seeing an injured person all in blood waiting for the ambulance we couldn't stop and too bad we couldn't help him as well.As we almost passed Saida our car stopped again but this time forever.Luckily good people were found to help us.We stopped next to a half built building and the workers there gave us tea and food then we rented a car to go to the mountains , north region, and left the car there forever(actually after a month we took it from there).As we reached building that all our family rented i was happy, my heart my beating fast i wanted to kiss them all to hug all my aunts and cousins we were about 40 people.

             After that all i reached my room and felt peace,at last, but even if i reached a safe area there in Beirut and the South war still continued and black days weren't over....and aren't over till this day,in the hearts of many that lost their children,husband,wives,cousins,or any person that is close to their hearts.....since there deep inside everyone of these, the war still goes on.

      (Next day the bridge was bombed,but still my aunt and grandma passed through another way and joined us all in the mountains ,and we were evacuated to Ukraine,my mother's homeland,at the end of the war .Lebanon was also bombing Israel but with much less weapons.On August 14 the war ended with the victory of Lebanon and its citizens and all families returned to their homes whether in the South or Beirut.On September 8 the Israeli blockade on Lebanon ended and people began to return this country to live.)

                 Nowadays Lebanon returned its tourism and became an important strategic country in the middle east and is living a great prosperity in the economics,but that war was only the beginning of the end,the end of suffer in the region,and maybe the beginning of a peaceful decade,but hopes are still far,really far from reality.

                             **********I am passing the experience of some people that lived it,i am not with any of the sides, trying to keep it real ***************