guilty pleasure [bieber]

chapter 1

:༅𐐪𐑂｡:༅𐐪𐑂 :༅｡𐐪𐑂 °

I hear her, but my legs won't move and my eyes won't open. She's crying and crying and gradually the crying starts to get louder.

Had it even been an hour?

I take a deep breath wishing that the bed would swallow me whole.

"You stay. I'll get her." I hear Justin say. He leans over and kisses my cheek then I feel the bed on his side dip down then rise letting me know he's gone. I roll over, my eyes shoot open and I stare at his now empty side of the bed. I felt selfish, but I was so tired.

Ever since we had gotten home I had only been running on a few hours of sleep. I felt so damn stupid for thinking I could do this all on my own while Justin worked.

It was exhausting.

But if I could just get Logan or maybe mom back out? I hadn't initially accepted their help, but I clearly needed it

I yawn.

I really hated that I felt this way. "You just aren't letting mommy get any sleep are you?" I hear a sleepy chuckle escape between Justin's lips over the baby monitor. We were in the same boat; he must've just gotten home himself and now he was getting up to cater to her needs. I yawn once more.

As Justin continues to take care of the baby I start to feel myself drifting back off to sleep.

:::

My eyes flutter open to sunlight peaking in the room and I instantly look over to Justin's side of the bed but he isn't there. Maybe he slept in the baby's room? But shouldn't he be getting to work? I throw back the duvet and head down the hallway into Stella's room.

He isn't there and neither is the baby. I try to not think the worst but panic fills my body and my heart starts to pick up pace.

I take off towards the kitchen the only place left for me to look. I feel like I'm walking at the speed of light; my feet padding both quickly and loudly against the wooden floor. I won't be able to think straight until I've found them.

As I get closer I hear humming. It wasn't coming from a man, but rather a woman and I knew just who it was.

When I turn the corner there she is. There they both are. I place my hand over my chest in relief.

"Logan."

"Naomi, about time you woke up!" She looks over at the Stella

"Your mommy's finally awake." she says

"What do you mean about time?" I hadn't had time to look at a clock but I figured it couldn't that late.

"It's after one Naomi." I frown.

"It's fine, Justin said you were tired. Stella and I have been bonding." I bend down and pick up Stella out of her play pin kissing her forehead before I turn my attention back to Logan. She's wearing an apron and cooking—something I hadn't had any desire to do.

"It's just– I thought you were out of the country?"

"Well I was, but then Justin called the other day. Said you needed help. Trevor understood that my sister needed me we took his jet back here the next night. I told you before Naomi, I'm here if you need me. All you have to do is say the word." She smiles and circles the breakfast bar.

"Here.. you give me Stella. Go take a shower. I've got this." An easy smile plays on her lips as she takes the baby from my arms. Even more relief floods my body–I wasn't alone because thus far I'd felt the complete opposite.

"Then maybe we can all go out somewhere—" I open my mouth to say something, but she cuts me off. "Yeah, I know Justin said you guys don't take her out but I think that's bullshit. Excuse my French. We'll wrap her up and you know what we'll even pay her dad a visit at his office." She smiles proudly. I don't argue against it. I should, but I don't have the energy so I turn on my heel and head to the room.

"I don't know about this Logan. I mean what if Justin gets mad? Or what if he's really busy?" There's a thought "Yeah, busy. I'm sure he has plenty of work he has to do. I've hardly seen him." My voice fades out unsure of what his reaction would be to seeing both Stella and I out of the house.

The only thing I had gotten from Justin not being around as often to help with the baby was that he was trying to get someone important to cover his magazine and if that meant doing whatever then that's what he was going to do.

I didn't mind at first. I really didn't, but we had been home with the baby for over a month and maybe it was just me. Maybe I was still a little needy but I missed him. He'd offered a nanny while he worked but I never grew up with one and I didn't want that for our child.

"Like you said, you've hardly seen him and I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to see you and the baby. Don't think too much." I sigh. Why was everything so easy for everyone else? Why did I feel the need to think of everyone else's feelings?

"Ok." I breathe. Logan smiles.

Vladd is standing outside of our door and so Logan knocks on the window letting him know that we were ready for him to open the door. She grabs the baby's car seat with her in it and exits with me following right behind. We enter Justin's building and head straight for the elevators.

"What floor?" Logan questions and I give her a look.

One that says what do you think?

"But of course he's on the top floor..." She chuckles and presses the button. As the elevator goes from floor to floor I feel as if my heart is about to pop out of my chest. I was nervous and for the first time in a long time I didn't know why or understand why. This was Justin, I'm sure he was going to be happy to see us, but the thought of him being busy and us intruding–I take a deep breath and shake off this feeling  just as soon as we've reached his floor.

"Mrs. Bieber. What a surprise, should I tell Mr. Bieber that you're here? I'm sure he'd stop his meeting for you."

"See Logan, he's busy." I'm ready to turn and run

"You heard her she's sure he'd stop his meeting." She turns towards the assistant. "Don't bother telling him we're just going to surprise him." His assistant hesitantly nods.

When did Logan become the authority figure around here?

As we're walking through the office I get on and off again glances. It's all so nerve wracking and I push some hair behind my ear trying walking a little faster to get to Justin's office. The things they're probably thinking about me. It all made me feel extremely insecure.

I finally let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in when we reach his office. The blinds are down and the door is closed but I hear laughter. "Just go in." Logan says from behind me ushering me to the door with her other hand.

I turn the knob and push the door open. I widen the door and there Justin is with Barbara. They're hugging as another man stands behind them with a smile spread wide across his face.

Logan clears her throat.