Over the Edge

Ch. 21-Please Don't Leave Me

“My mother—you’re grandmother—committed suicide, that much is true,” she started, staring hard at her hands. “And I did become severely depressed. I harmed myself, Emma. An unbelievable amount. And I’ll always have the scars as reminders of the monster I let take over me.”

“Mom . . .”

She held up a hand. “Let me finish.” She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. “You and I have more in common than you know, honey. Granted, most of it is things I never wanted to happen to you, but we do share them all the same. I don’t know how to make this easier to say, but I’ve realized sugar-coating the truth never solves anything.” She locked gazes with me. “I tried to kill myself Emma.”

My eyes widened as my mouth fell open. “Overdose?”

She shook her head, laughing quietly to herself. “I jumped off a bridge.”

“No way,” I breathed, unable to believe this was my mother telling me all of this. “What happened?”

Tears glossed her eyes. “I would have died,” she murmured. “But your father . . . He saved me.”

“Dad?”

She nodded, a smile tweaking her lips. “Jumped right in after me and dragged me out.”

I always knew their story was romance book material. “How come you never told me?”

She shrugged limply. “It was never a good time.”

“He must have really loved you,” I marveled, trying to envision my parents my age, what they went through.

“He did,” she murmured. “And it took me a long time to realize that.” She picked at the sleeve of her sweater. “Do you by any chance get what I’m trying to tell you?”

I nearly groaned. Of course there was a hidden lesson in it somewhere. This was my mother, after all. “No, sorry, I must have missed it.”

She brushed hair away from my face. “Mr. Matthews put Jacob and me together on an English project, just like yours, years and years ago. I didn’t know how he knew, and I still don’t, but I’ve thanked him so many times for it. He’s like an angel, Emma, sent here to save people like us.”

“So?”

She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “So people like us need somebody else. Somebody to remind us that we’re not alone, that we’re better than the darkness in our soul.”

“But I don’t have—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” she reprimanded, cutting me off. “You always have your father and me. But sometimes that just isn’t enough. All I had was Clara. And then Jacob turned out to be my rock.”

I flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “What are you saying, Mom?”

“I’m saying you need a friend. Someone who understands.”

“Right. Let me just look through my book of BFF’s and choose one.”

“Emma,” she scolded warningly.

“I’m serious, Mom. Yeah, I like Rose well enough, but she wouldn’t understand. She would probably freak out.”

“Maybe you’re not giving her enough credit.”

“Maybe it’s the truth.”

“So maybe she’s not the person you should be focusing on.”

I closed my eyes. “If you say Rhys I’m going to throw you out.”