Growing up in a different country other than the one I was born in was never a big deal , I thought that was how things were meant to be. I lived with my father, aunts, uncles, cousins and sometimes close friends came to stay over, it was a big family house after all. My dad worked alot and I mostly saw him late in the evening or at night, so my aunts were responsible for helping me get ready for school. I was terrified of my father, and the rest of my family members, since he was the one who hit me more often and also the hardest, I feared him the most. It seems I could never do anything right for him, although I was a little girl still, I cried myself to sleep many times praying that I will soon get out of the situation. I was teased endlessly by my cousins whenever I was beaten, the least thing that happened they couldn't wait to tell him when he reached home, my uncle and aunts seem to love seeing me hurt since they also joined in at times. I can never forget how my aunt and one of my older cousins used to hold me down and ill treat me just for fun and laughed after. Because of this treatment, I was shy, softspoken and always worrying about what's next. Everytime I heard someone call my dad's name or I saw him coming home my heart starts to pound faster than ever. I started being molested by a close family friend and later on an older cousin. I then went to stay with a lady friend of my dad's for awhile, and I thought that things would've been better, there I was screamed at and beaten also (years later she apologised and said she was just too young to understand how to love and care for someone) I kept wondering if something was wrong with me, why does it seem like I am the only unhappy one? Returning to my family home, nothing changed it was still a nightmare, if I ever tried to defend myself against one cousin, all the others will gang up against me. After years of abuse, verbally and physically I was finally told I was going back to my country to meet my mom, I was so excited but I didn't show it, I thought all my suffering will end and things will get better. Boy was I WRONG..
