Parker

The Beginning

A/N This is my fist story so it may not be too great. The italicized text occurred in the past

Prologue: I woke up in the middle of the night, with tears streaming down my burning cheeks. My hair clung to my forehead; drenched with sweat. I had had another one. Another dream about my lifeless body hanging from the ceiling. These dreams have been occurring for months. I cannot fathom the idea of ending my own life, but deep down, it's all that I wanted.

TWO MONTHS AGO

As I look through the rear view mirror at the small Tiffany blue house we were leaving behind, a small tear runs down my cheek. Washington was always my home and I have never known anything else. The rainy afternoons and the gorgeous pine trees all around, the small communities and beautiful conversations with friends. Due to the fact that I was an awkward child, It took me many years to fit in. In Kindergarten, I would sit and play with sock puppets by myself while all of the other children were chasing each other around the playground. It remained this way until the first day of sixth grade.

Of course, I am used to spending all of my time alone, so I was naturally very shocked when a girl looked up from her book and introduced herself. "Hi. I'm CJ" The small girl spoke quietly.

"Hey. I'm Parker." I squeaked

She then asked, "Are you new here too?"

"Yeah. I got transferred to this middle school."

"Nice. I guess that puts us in the same boat."

"I guess so."

"It was nice meeting you." She says reaching out a hand.

"You too." I say extending my hand to shake hers.

From that day on, we were best friends. She was the first friend I had ever had and apparently I returned the favor. Everyday after school, we would go to my house and eat junk food while watching the Harry Potter movies on repeat. We were both obsessed and couldn't get enough. By the time we had finished the movie, we would work on our homework together. We always had the same schedule due to our moms being counselors at the school. We were inseparable. Where one was, the other wasn't far behind. We shared all of our deepest secrets and obsessed over the cute popular boys. When she was tired, she would lean her head on my shoulder and vice versa. This is why it came as such a shock to me. She came to me one day after class and told me we needed to talk. I figured she was just going to tell me a stupid story about what had happened that day, but what she told me rocked my world.

She came up to me and said, "Parker, sit down, we seriously need to talk."

"Whats up CJ?"

"We're moving."

"You're WHAT?"

"My family and I are moving to California. My dad found a better job and we aren't doing too well."

"This can't be happening." I practically shout. My whole body starts shaking in what seem to be endless fits of sobs. I can't even look at her. She sits down next to me and loops her arm in mine. Continuing to cry, I put my head on her shoulder.

"I'll come back to visit P. I know it will be hard. You're the only friend I've ever had and now I'm losing you. I love you more than anything and the thought of leaving you kills me inside."

"I love you so much Cj! It won't be the same without you here." I say between chokes on sobs, "When are you guys leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

" I tried to P, I just couldn't do it. I'm so sorry."

" I'll miss you. Call me." I say as I stand up pulling her into an endless hug. She nods and picking up her backpack, leaves.

That was by far one of the worst days of my life. The day that she left, I couldn't even get out of bed. My eyes were so raw from crying that I could feel the skin peeling off. I knew I had looked like crap but I didn't even care. That's how I feel all of the time these days. There were still three days left of the seemingly endless road trip and I already couldn't take it anymore. For the past two days, my brother Charlie and Little sister Willow have been kicking my seat and putting gum in my hair. I am used to this by now and have learned to carry a jar of peanut butter wherever I go. I slather some of the creamy peanut butter on my fingers and work it into my hair until the gum is out. My rib length brown hair now smelled strongly of peanut butter as I beg my mom to go to the next exit. As I finish washing the peanut butter out of my hair, I get a glimpse in the mirror. My clear blue eyes have dark purple bags under them from trying to get the kids settled down every night on the road, and my slim figure seems to be gaining pudge from solely consuming gas station food for the past week.

By the time I walk back out to the car, I find my mom asleep in the passenger seat. I sigh as I get in and slide the keys in the ignition. As I am now seventeen, my mom relies on me to help out when she becomes too exhausted to handle the kids. I pull out onto the highway as the sun begins to rise. By the time my mom wakes up, it is noon and we are in Kansas. She looks over at me with a look of pure appreciation and I smile at her. Charlie yawns as he picks up his drool covered teddy bear. I look at him in the rear view mirror and he returns a look of adoration. Charlie and I are very close as I practically raised him. I don't blame mom as she was working the night shift as a nurse and as a secretary during the day. Her being a single parent, she worked her ass off always trying to scrape by. Charlie was three and I loved him like a son.  As the sun was setting, we pulled into a motel for the night.